Suzieknitter

We need a little Christmas

2011-12-14T09:39:00.000-08:00

Or, as my kids say, Chrissolhanakwanzakahsticemas, or Christhanasolkwanzasticekahmas.

At this time of year, we need this. We need some candles to light up the darkness. And a blazing fire to provide heat. We need evergreen trees to remind us that even though all the leaves are gone and the stems appear dead, there is still life in the forests and fields. We need flying reindeer and tiny elves to bring us magic. We need friends and family to celebrate together and remind us that even though it is dark and cold outside, we still have each other to care for and love. We need good food, too much of it sometimes, to remind us that even though nothing seems to be alive outside and growing, we can have full tummies and yummy goodness in our minds and hearts. We need a tiny baby, cared for by loving parents despite the lack of modern amenities, and welcomed by angels and shepherds and wise men as a harbinger of peace and joy. Because underneath all that snow, [or despite the clouds and rain], life is beginning again, stirring and turning over and growing. Spring and sunshine and warmth will return to our world, as it has every year since the beginning of time. And we need to remember that, and celebrate. Every single year.

We need to continue to hope for and work towards peace on earth and goodwill to all humankind.

Merry Chrissolhanakwanzakahsticemas, or whatever you celebrate. Do celebrate, please!

Parenting tips

2011-08-13T11:08:00.000-07:00

I have wanted to write a book on parenting for a long time. Some things that seem really obvious to me, obviously aren't to others. So here goes (nothing):

My mother was very insecure in her parenting. This manifested itself by her carefully following the "rules" set out by doctors and other experts (more on doctors as experts later). By carefully following the rules, she hoped to raise healthy children, but she didn't seem to be able to rely on her own instincts at all. When my oldest brother was a toddler, my dad told me once, she locked him in his room behind a baby gate (not a closed door) and let him cry while she and Dad ate dinner. Dad told me it was often impossible to eat while Fred cried piteously, or trashed his room and got up to other "mischief" such as removing his diapers and playing with them. When I was a baby, I was told, they sometimes would sneak into my room and get me and feed me earlier than the four hours prescribed as the correct "feeding" schedule. Sigh.

Later: Many doctors claim to be experts on parenting and/or mothering, even though many of them (the male doctors in particular) have never ever been mothers. Case in point - one doctor, claiming an expertise he didn't have, said (and I quote as exactly as I remember it from forty years ago) "You never once thought of putting down your baby while you were pregnant." Until this point, I hadn't considered the gender of the author of this particular book, but reading this, I turned to the author, and sure enough MALE. Because in my pregnancy, especially the last three months, I can't remember how many times - but probably at least once a day - I said to myself, if I could only be not-pregnant for ten minutes, is that too much to ask, I will happily resume the pregnancy and continue to the end. Just ten minutes without this baby bump, please. It was not to be. And I survived the pregnancies (all of them). No, I don't have ten children, it just seems like I was pregnant for ten years.

Like my mother said, those last two weeks of your pregnancy are the longest two years of your life, and the twenty years your children spend growing up are the shortest two weeks of your life.

I read every book I could get my hands on about parenting, while I was still pregnant. Some of them were garbage. Some of them flatly contradicted each other - feed your baby when it is hungry VS feed your baby only every four hours. I read books by doctors, by mothers, by experts and by charlatans. Some of them spoke to me, and fit into my view of life, others seemed to be prissy, stagnant, or totally impractical. By the time I took my newborn son home, I was tired of reading.

When my husband was at work, I would lay the baby in the middle of the queen size bed and watch him sleep. I did craft projects while he slept. I remember making a paper mache wastebasket. I also watched soap operas for a brief period. One memorable one ended on a Friday with a real cliffhanger (would the bride allow the groom's interfering mother influence her, or not) and an announcement that this show would not be seen on Monday, but would be replaced by another type of show. My soap opera watching days ended abruptly, but not my fascination with my son's breathing and sleeping.

He spend the first weeks of his life sleeping and eating. Even bathing him was a problem, as he wanted to nurse, then return to sleep, not stay awake for bathtime. I took him outside one afternoon, in order to take pictures of the bath. He was born in New Mexico in June, so afternoons outside were warm, as in HOT. He loved his bath in the warmth, so after that, I made sure to turn the A/C off several hours before bath time. And he stayed awake better. I had learned by this time, nurse on one side, bath and clean clothes, then nurse on the other side. Then he slept.

He slept for three and a half hours at a time, right from day one. The nursing and diaper change took about a half hour. So every four hours, round the clock, I fed him.

I worried. Breastfed babies, I had learned, liked to nurse often, even every two hours. They were apt to be irregular, sleeping for ten minutes here, and four hours there. Not my child. He ate, he slept. When asleep, he could be moved from place to place without waking him. So he could be put to sleep in the living room, and moved to his bedroom later on. Or taken to the store for a quick shopping trip without interrupting his nap. Or go to sleep in our bed, or my rocking chair, and plopped in his crib when convenient. It didn't bother him.

I learned that you spend the first six weeks, especially, but the first whole year, really, getting to know your child. One of our friends at that time had firmly announced before their daughter was born, that they were not going to let any child of theirs cry itself to sleep. Oh, no, their child would be gently soothed to sleep in their loving arms or allowed to play quietly in the crib before sleep, but crying would be responded to. Sheepishly, about three months later, they admitted that their daughter seemed to go to sleep much more easily and quickly if she was allowed to cry, well, fuss, for a few minutes after being put down.

I read a very interesting book before my children were born. Interestingly, this was the one book my mother recommended, indeed she insisted I read it. It was called The Rights of Infants and it talked about ten traits that some reseachers had identified as seeming to be inborn and lifelong. These traits included liking vs. disliking new things, regularity vs. irregularity of daily schedule, level of activity and so forth. While the book presented the traits as either or, I believe that they are a continuum, with some children falling at either end, but most falling somewhere in the middle.

For instance, my son was clearly pretty regular in his eating and sleeping schedule, and that trait has seemed to follow throughout his life, making planning for his meals and naps easier than if he had been the type to eat lots and often one day and next to nothing the next, the way some kids seem to be. Also, he seem to be near the top of the activity level, and liked and was attracted to new things.

He loved his first oatmeal, his first ice cream, and his first black olive. He didn't like his first taste of tomato, but since there was a bowl of cherry tomatoes on the table, he tasted several, in case the first one was a mistake. He still doesn't like tomatoes, but likes almost all other foods. While these traits may seem like good things, you try parenting a child who is always on the go, and enjoys tasting new things, like poison ivy and the little chlorine balls that didn't get completely dissolved in the kiddie pool at the park.

The book emphasized that the inheritance of these traits was still a mystery, and a couple who both enjoyed a very regular schedule could still end up with an infant who wanted a ten minute nap one day, and a five-hour nap the next, playing havoc with their ideas of a carefully regulated life. And that it seems to be easier to enjoy a child whose traits match yours, but since it doesn't seem to be a given that your child will echo your traits, you ought to learn to parent the child you have, not try to shovel your child into a mold that doesn't fit him.

Learning to parent the child you have is the key to happy parenting. If your child enjoys his first taste of solid food, loves the first outing to the park, embraces strangers as new friends, and generally enjoys new things, you can skip the chapters on introducing your child to daycare, first days of school, adjusting to new teachers, and the like. He/she won't have these problems.

Okay, I'm tired now, so more later. :)

Nothing to rant about

2011-05-03T09:22:00.000-07:00

The Royal Wedding went off without a hitch. I had watched "Chuck and Di" years ago, while in CA visiting my mother and brothers. My daughter has no recollection of this. Watched reruns then, as now, as two am is just not on my radar. But thanks to a very loving DH, I had a lovely tape of the whole thing (five or six hours or so) and may therefore watch it again.

I am starting a new blog "Suzie's 52", hoping to be able to complete 52 projects in 52 weeks, starting May 5, 2011, and ending May 5, 2012. Do the dates ring a bell for anyone? Yes, it is Cinco de Mayo in which the whole country of Mexico and the states of Texas, NM, AZ, and California celebrate, uh, something.

I am happy with my medications (thyroid, adderall), the amount of daylight (up today at six am, and it was light out), and my plans for the next few weeks. I still don't get enough done, but then, I always plan to do too much.

Various Rants

2011-04-19T21:15:00.000-07:00

I want to rant about taxes, and how the government can't do it all, and how we should quit expecting government to provide for everybody, and just do it ourselves.

I really think that this economic downturn should be an opportunity for government bodies at various levels to rethink their mission(s) and redo their budgets to fund only those things which are most important for a government to do. I cannot imagine roads being build by anyone else but larger governmental units (federal, state, and county, mainly) but art in public places, definitely a function that non-government entities should handle. Education for all children must be government funded, since private funding would lead to only the rich being able to send their kids to good schools and the poorest kids being not sent to school at all (and lets not talk about how that is the case right now, okay) but does the government need to fund medical research directly. Is that the best way to spend our tax dollars? Parks are a definite plus for communities, but could some of the costs be bourne by volunteers and/or corporate groups. Fire and police protection is a definite government function. Just remember the hooplah when some poor sucker didn't pay his fire tax (where it was voluntary) so the fire department let his house burn down. Sorry, but that sort of payment should not, cannot be, voluntary. Everybody needs fire and police protection, taxpayers must provide it.

Well, I could go one, and I will, at a later date.

Chow. (I was so surprised to find out that that is really spelled C-I-A-O, or something. No fair, English language and borrowed phrases.)

Unemployment compensation and other backfires

2011-03-28T22:15:00.000-07:00

Unemployment insurance is designed to help someone who has lost his/her job by providing some income to partially replace that which was lost when the job was lost. L&I insurance works on a similar principal, if one can no longer work at one's job because of a job-related injury, L&I insurance provides some income to replace the lost wages. This seems to be a no-brainer: it is good, right. We should continue to provide unemployment payments to the unemployed until the economy recovers and everybody is back to work.

ONLY, in no case will "everybody" be back to work. There are always unemployed persons. We measure a recession by the percentage of people looking for work who cannot find it RIGHT NOW, and lower numbers are better. Ten percent, bad. Five percent good. Four percent, great. But that still means out of 100 workers, four are currently unemployed. And in some L&I situations, the worker will NEVER be able to return to the job he/she held before the injury. NEVER.

Still, it seems that as soon as the unemployment payments run out, the person finds work. I know in my case, I was unemployed for about four months when my children were little. In my case, I did not have unemployment insurance, but had money enough to live on for four months before it ran out. Just as this money (from the sale of a house) ran out, I received not one, but two, job offers. I had my choice. Despite looking "full time" for four months, I received NO job offers until the funds dried up, then I received two very nice, very desirable job offers. Hmm.

I think it is like this. Losing a job is like losing your house to a fire or flood. It is like having a spouse die unexpectedly. It is like losing an arm or leg in a horrible accident. It is awful. You mourn. You try to get it back. You cry. You curse the fates. You stay in bed under the covers and read bad mysteries. You gossip with likeminded people about how unfair it all is. But finally, at some point, you should move on.

Elizabeth Kuebler-Ross (check name and reference) outlined the five steps that dying people go through, DABDA: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. But, because the people she studied were dying, she missed the last step, the one that the dead don't have to take in our world. The step of moving on. It becomes DABDAM.

Many confuse acceptance with moving on. They are two really different things. Acceptance is "I am going to die, here's what I want at my funeral, here's who should have my most valuable possessions." Acceptance is "Our new house isn't so bad really", "I'm giving away his clothes so someone else can use them", "The doctor says I can wear slacks, and no one will ever know I have a prosthesis". Acceptance is good, it is necessary, it is important.

There needs to be a further step if one is to live the full and rich life that one deserves. You must MOVE ON. Moving on is beyond acceptance. It comes (well, it came for me) when I realized that I could no longer imagine what my life would have been like if I hadn't lost (in my case) my infant son. Moving on is "I finally get to have that craft room I always wanted", "I'm going back to school to learn to be a (fill in the blank) because (fill in the blank)", "I'm helping the therapist design a prosthesis which will enable me to (fill in the blank); they don't think it has ever been done before."

Moving on is embracing the new direction your life has taken, even if it wasn't the direction you had thought you were heading prior to the incident which lead to DABDAM. It is not denial. It is not forgetting, or even forgiving (which people might be urging you to do in the case of divorce, for instance.) Acceptance is standing by waving as the train you thought you were going to take departs for the vacation you won't ever have now. Moving on is getting onto a bus to another destination entirely.

Unemployment insurance and L&I insurance basically are designed to provide an income for the DABDA part of DABDAM, and perhaps provide some bus fare for the new destination. If it lasts too long, it can feed the acceptance, and never provide a push to move on. As long as I have an income, why should I look for a job in a different field entirely, which I don't know anything about. As long as I have an income, I can just keep looking for a replacement for the old job, and not even see the opportunities out there for other endeavors that WILL NOT REPLACE the old job, but which will provide an income and a career which is also suitable to my skills and temperament.

In the "olden" days, death lead to a specific length of mourning for the survivors. Cousin meant black gloves for such and such a period of time, parent meant black garmets for such and so, and the death of a spouse was marked by black clothing and no parties for six months, followed by "half-mourning" dark purples and no dancing for an additional six months. At the end of the year, you might mark the occasion in some way-visiting the grave, purchasing a new outfit, etc. At the end of the year, you were expected to "suck it up", put off your blacks, and get on with your life.

In modern times, we have forgotten these old, basically helpful rules. We allow people to wallow in their misery. Lawyers promise to provide money to restore us to what we were before the flood/fire/coffee spill. UI and L&I provide an income so we can have a mourning period for our lost job, and perhaps lost career.

But in the end, we are adults. The unemployed need to suck it up, put off their misery, and get on with their lives. If this means working in a convenience store for minimum wage for the rest of their lives, well then they probably didn't have what it actually takes to be employed at their old jobs, and would have been fired sooner or later anyway.

I have no sympathy. I knew a guy who fell off a building in the course of his employment and ended up completely paralized except for some movement in one hand. His wife had to take care of his every physical need. He sold insurance or stocks or something over the telephone (this was before the internet), and they were making it, they were earning a living and taking care of each others needs. Another story I heard about was a navy doctor who was an intern or something, and got polio and wound up unable to sit or stand. Since he had not completed his residency, he thought about what kind of a doctor he could be when he couldn't even stand up himself unassisted. So he became a psychiatrist. Yet another man lost an arm and leg or so in a horrific automobile crash, made worse by the fact that he was very drunk at the time. He became a crusader for telling new drivers about the dangers of driving after drinking. I remember him saying, I can't imagine what my life would have been like if I still had two arms and two legs. I love my wife, my kids are fantastic, I have a job I love. Would I have gotten these great things in my life if I hadn't been in that crash? I wouldn't want it any other way.

So let's not be too quick to extend unemployment benefits, increase L&I payments, and make it "easier" for those "poor" "unfortunate" to wallow in their misery. See I just saved the government (read taxpayers) a ton of money.

Wow, that's a load off my mind and into this blog.

Update on medication and other joys

2011-03-28T09:27:00.000-07:00

The doctor prescribed a different, but similar, antidepressant. She said to wean myself off the Zoloft in (I think) six days, then start the other. So I weaned myself off, and never started the other. I have the meds, but have not taken them. Hey I'm feeling good, and antidepressants are for "not feeling so good".

She also prescribed a nasal spray, and guess what, I no longer have a slight cough and nagging headache all the time. Wow, who knew.

Followup tomorrow.

Going to visit doctor

2011-03-14T17:45:00.000-07:00

I hemmed and hawed about a visit to the doctor in December, then put it off too long and we were off the CA.

Promised I would make an appointment as soon as we got back. Apparently "as soon as" is defined as a week or so later. I did make the appointment. Will go tomorrow.

Will read over blog posts before that to refresh meself on the timeline.

More medication issues

2011-03-08T21:40:00.000-08:00

I am keeping track in this blog about the medication, so I have somewhere to consult, and find out what happens when. So I thought I'd better make a note of this:

When we got home from California (Tuesday March 1, 2011) I did not take any pills for two days (Tues and Wed, or maybe Wed and Thurs, no probably Tues and Wed). Anyway, I was in such a funk from Tues until Friday. It was miserable. I was afraid to even let Nick touch me, lest I burst into tears. Poor guy, he didn't know what to do.

I wasn't going to leave the house, although I did several times, but not as much as I usually would. I just wanted to stay home, and not talk to anybody. But I was irritated that Nick went upstairs to work on the computer, and I didn't hear from him for like five or six hours. I just didn't know where to start, so I put about six or eight major jobs in a glass jar, and started drawing out things to do. The first day, I cleaned out the pantry, and got rid of some stuff and reorganized other stuff. Including going through cookbooks, and getting rid of some (Goodwill).

The next day, I drew upstairs closets, so I tore into my closet, discarded two entirely full bags of clothes, and also sorted through the kids bedroom closet, except for the pictures, which are a separate project. We probably have an entire van-load of stuff to take to Goodwill. The next day was Friday so I didn't do anything but finish up from the day before, and now that I'm feeling better, I'm feeling less like doing this stuff.

Maybe part of it is that the next thing I drew: Kitchen cabinets, aren't really much of a problem. We could probably get rid of half our pots and empty some drawers, but we still have room for stuff, so why bother. I think I'll just throw that one away, and draw another.

I just thought now, that I should add my sewing projects to the jar. And knitting. At least the ones that bug me. Then I would have the chance of spending time one day just working on projects. That's a good idea.

Another health "Update" although I haven't mentioned this before. The noise in my ears is getting louder. I hear it all the time, and it makes it hard to hear other stuff sometimes. I can hear my blood pumping through when I lay down to sleep and other times too. It is very annoying.

General complaints

2011-02-27T22:37:00.000-08:00

I don't know why, but most of the time I was in California, I only wanted to go home. Yet I was having a good time, and doing things I loved. I think it's the medication, not working quite as well as it should.

Now that we are in Oregon, I am in no hurry to get home. I wonder why we did not go to Texas (oh yes, Nick was worried about finding a place to stay in Arizona). I really want to go somewhere else. "As a rule a man's a fool...".

I have really been thinking all day that I do not want to go home. I don't like the house, I don't like the work I should be doing, I don't like living there. I don't want to go home. I am dreading it.

Yet in California, I felt much less strongly about not likeing the house, and more strongly about maybe, not haveing a definite plan, being undecided, not going to Texas, but doing what else? I felt restless. That "is that all there is to a fire?" sort of feeling.

It's driving me crazy. I just want to enjoy life. And I do, for the most part.
Update on depression: it is not so bad, unless this "want to go home, don't want to go home" is symptomatic. I had a good time today on the walk. About halfway through I was starving, so we got some girl scout cookies from in front of a store, and that took care of the problem. I find that I do not recognize hunger coming on, just when it is that I have to eat NOW feeling.

It is too quiet here, and I am out of podcasts. I really don't know how Nick doeosn't want music or somehting, but maybe he doesn't have the noise in his head like I do, and maybe also he is either reading or on the computer concentrating on that. Whereas, I am sewing or spinning or knitting, and I have lots and lots of time to think. Maybe that is the whole problem, too much time to think.

More good news

2011-02-21T23:03:00.000-08:00

I have been taking the two pills for almost a week now, if my calculations are correct. And I haven't had a really bad day. So I think the dosage is working.

Plus, I worked on the Cat quilt today, fixed one cat's ear, and sewed the three cats together. One of them still needs a tail, and then I will be ready to start sewing on the borders. Hooray.

Meanwhile, at the laundromat, I finished up the strap on the little bag that I am knitting. Now I have to weave in ends and that is complete.

Plus I worked on another Mother Bear bear for the charity I am supporting. Must be done and posted on Ravelry by March 1, which is next Tuesday???? I need to consult a calendar. I wound the yarn and found the needles, so I am close to casting on for my next project, Ice Queen. So progress, more progress, lots of things getting accomplished.

And I keep up with the dishes nearly every day. We don't vacuum often enough, but I do wash the shower once or twice a week, and clean the toilet fairly often. So I should also give myself credit for keeping up with that sort of stuff. Oh and I took out the garbage yesterday, without even being asked, or Nick even knowing. He usually does that chore, but heck, I can do it once in a while.

So, I'm feeling good. I'm getting stuff done. And I'm enjoying myself. Everything is working fine right now.

Check!

More update on medication

2011-02-17T17:20:00.000-08:00

One of the purposes of my writing this blog is so that I don't forget what is going on. For instance, I can record progress or lack of it on my quilts, and remember from one month to the next what I'm doing.

Since I have gotten talking about depression, I think I can also do that for the medication. So I was feeling pretty good, and I was taking two pills a day. However, since the current prescription is for only one pill per day, I will run out in 45 days not 90 if I keep taking two.

I therefore decided to only take one and a half pills per day. Yesterday, after about a week of one and a half pills per day, I was feeling pretty lousy. We really did have a good day. Except that I didn't tell Nick that I wanted to visit some yarn shops, and I didn't tell him that it wasn't worth sitting around for two hours doing nothing while a podcast loaded. And he didn't tell me that the lights in the library were giving him a headache. So we were both unhappy, and I was ready to cry when we left the library.

Then he wanted to go to a stupid Dollar Store that the GPS said was there and wasn't, because he wanted to buy popcorn. Well, driving all over Santa Barbara to save a dollar or two on popcorn, when we already have popcorn in the motorhome is just dumb. Only I never said that to him.

I just wanted to go home, and cry. It started feeling like I could NEVER do what I want and NEVER go anywhere without Nick and that he didn't want to do ANYTHING I wanted to do, because he won't ride bikes or fix stuff.

Well, Susan. You are going to call the doctor and get an appointment for when you get home. You can even make the appointment from here, as soon as you know for sure when you will get home. So take the medication you need, and feel better.

Yes, Mother. I am a good person, I take care of myself.

So there. (Started back on two pills per day today!)

Update on medication

2011-02-10T23:27:00.000-08:00

I thought I needed to update this blog to mention that Tuesday, when I had a really good day, and I wrote about how I should just take the stupid pills if they help me feel okay, well that Tuesday, I found out on Wednesday, I had forgotten to take the "stupid" pills. And I had a good day anyway. Go figure.

No, actually, I know what it is. These pills are cummulative. Seldom will one day of not taking them cause a bad day. It's after two weeks or so that things get bad. Which makes it harder to figure out whether or not, and how much, the pills are helping. The law of averages, or human nature, or something, dictate that in any given two week period, there are bound to be some days which are not as good as other days. And while it is nice to blame the differences of the weather, or the human condition, or the boss, or your spouse or kids. it is very nearly impossible to determine exactly why one day is better and one day is worse. You really have to go by averages in this type of situation.

In other words, to see if the pills work, you have to judge how the average of every day for two weeks is ON the pills, and OFF the pills. And unfortunately, it is impossible to redo the previous two weeks with then without pills, in order to see whick is better.

There are some studies which show that taking a placebo is just as effective as taking an antidepressant. My worry about these studies is that perhaps only x number of people are helped by an antidepressant. And perhaps x number of people are helped by a placebo. Who knows if it is the SAME people. x might be 20% or 80% or whatever. Here an example. Say we want to improve people's view of a sporting event which is very crowded. We select 200 people at random, and give half of the a step stool so that they can stand a foot taller to see. The other half get binoculars. Now if these people are truly random, there will be some short people in each group and some tall people. The binoculars will help the tall people see the sporting event better, but will not help the short people, because they will not be able to see over the crowds.

The step stools will help some of the shorter people see better, but will not help the tallerst people, because they can already see above others heads. And of course, the really short folks will not be helped by either accessory. But in each case, perhaps 25% of the participants will report that the item they got helped them to see the event better.

However, we should not conclude that stepstools are just as effective as binoculars, and encourage people to purchase inexpensive step stools in lieu of the more expensive binoculars. That would be foolish.

Each item solves a different problem, even though it was expressed as "I can't see the game very well because of the crowds."

I think depression is really a very complex or perhaps several problems, and that no one solution will work in every case. AND, I worry that people will take pills because they are sad. "My dog died, I lost my job, my rent is due and I don't have the money, and my doctor just diagnosed me with mono, wow, am I depressed" is entirely different from "I have a job I love, I am married to my best friend, I am going to spend the weekend emersed in a craft I love, and I can hardly get out of bed, wow, I am depressed."

Enough for now.

PS Have you ever typed on the wrong keys, so that "enough for now" comes out "rmpihj gpt mpe". I just thought it looked funny.

The Problem with Depression

2011-02-08T21:59:00.000-08:00

Okay, so now I received my medication and I'm back on two pills a day. And why didn't I just call the doctor, make an appointment, and get enough pills. Why? Why???

I feel fine now. I think, well, I don't really have to take this medication. The weather is warm (except today when it was cooler but I actually liked that and it isn't like it is cold or anything, 60 rather than 75 or 80F), and I am getting stuff done, and Nick is taking me to quilt shops and things are just fine.

But wait, stop. I am taking the medication. I do feel fine. However, last month, when I was running out and taking only one pill a day, I felt like crap. And didn't have the "gumption" or whatever I lack when depressed to call the doctor and say "oh, one pill isn't working and we agreed on two starting on Oct 1 which I did, only now I am running out." No I just try to tough through it and pretend everything is fine.

Okay, I don't like being on the medication. I wouldn't like having a wooden leg either, but if my real leg was missing, I would probably embrace a prosthetic. I don't like wearing glasses, but I insert my contacts daily. So why is this medication so different. I need it. I feel better when I have it. I don't seem to need more and more, just the two pills a day in winter.

So get with the program, Suzie. Get the medication, suck it up and take it, make a doctor appointment to get more as soon as you get home. It's okay, really. Really.

Other news

2011-01-31T23:53:00.000-08:00

Now that I like the quilt again, I am plugging along at it. Nearly ready to sew the two parts together. Today, I worked on some embellishments for the bottom portion. It is coming along nicely.

I received more medicine today. I was afraid that I was going to run out. I was thinking that I would just stop taking it altogether. HOWEVER, I realized that if it helps, and it seems to, stopping taking it would be just foolish. So I'm glad it came.

Fibery update

2011-01-31T23:41:00.000-08:00

Uh, Shiny. (I don't know how to spell "ough", "ow", the vowel sound in threw or knew. I want to say "knew-kn", shiny or "threw-thr", shiny. The "uh" will have to do for now. Actually, "ew" looks kind of right.)

Just an update on the fiber I have been turning into yarn. I can spin faster than I can knit, at this rate, expecially when we stay in one location and don't move for two weeks.

First, I spun up the awesome batt that I received from my wonderful friends for my birthday. I think the color was Before Sunset, from Crown Mountain Farms. The batt turned into a lushious pinky, purple three ply, about 372 yards. I am so in love with this yarn. I think I am going to make a Traveling Woman shawl.

Then I spun up a couple of minibatts, about one ounce, that I won from SpinControl Podcast. The batts are alpaca, Falkland wool, and seacell. Proportions weren't given. I got 173 yards of two ply, just what I wanted. It is maybe a heavy laceweight, about 17-18 wpi. I'm going to make a lace cowl.

Then I spun up a sample of corriedale in a natural brown and gray that I purchased at Snohomish. It is also two ply and I only have 23 yards, as I only did a bit to try it out. I'm going to make something small, to test out the yarn. I usually prefer three ply, but this is nice and softer than I though it would be from the fiber.

I finished a pair of felted slippers, which fit Nick and not the intended recipient. I made a cotton shopping bag, since we really have way to many plastic bags now. I am working on a "waves" or "seafoam" scarf, the one where you wrap the yarn around the needle one, two, three, two, one times, then drop it on the next row. I'm using the gradient yarn I spun up from some similar roving that was distinct colors. I wanted to see how the color blended. I also was trying for, and got, a worsted weight yarn.

Next I plan to finish a purple cardigan I started last year from my handspun, and finish a little scottie terrier from an Alan Dart pattern, much modified as I don't see any reason to knit fourteen pieces and then sew them together for a toy.

So net to stash: added 568 yards, knit up Maybe?? 300-400 yards. It's still gaining on me. However, the scottie and the purple cardigan will tip the balance the opposite way, specially since I am using two strands of yarn for the dog. And Stitches West is coming up, so I may knit some bears for the Mother Bear project. Do I have any acrylic in my stash?? I didn't think so. Well, a trip to the yarn shop is not so bad, really.

In love Again

2011-01-26T10:20:00.000-08:00

I am in love with the quilt again. I really do like it. I still worry that others won't but that okay now, as I think it is fine. I have the two major pieces nearly complete, with just a few finishing touches to the piecing, and I can't wait to get them together and see how it all looks. Don't know if it is really big enough, but that is what borders are for, right?

Things are better today. Nick got about 12 hours of sleep, and I got two. So maybe I am getting too much sleep, which I sort of suspect. I went for a long walk (3 miles).
I finished up the scarf/(what's that other thing called) as far as i could. I ran out of yarn with about four rows to go. I may block it anyway. I have more fiber at home, quite a bit spun up into singles, just needing plying, so I am not going to finish it now. It will keep.
I also made a washcloth, as I didn't have anything else I could just grab and go with.
So, one more good day to add to the stack.

Update on projects, depression

2011-01-22T22:47:00.000-08:00

I am feeling better, I think. We have done two volkswalks, Thursday and today. Today was up a very gradual hill. And I was really winded going up the hill. I dislike the feeling of not being able to walk as easily as I used to. I hope I can get my mojo and fitness level back. I will have to work at it, I know.

I have been working diligently, pretty much, on the rainbow. I have also been knitting in the car, spinning at home, and getting things done. I cleaned the MH the other day, vacuuming and cleaning the toilet, two of my least favorite chores. I have been pretty good about keeping the dishes done. So all in all, pretty good all around.

PLEASE commenet

2011-01-19T09:41:00.000-08:00

Although this is the blog that nobody reads, it does show a download or two. If you are out there, please comment. I would so like to hear from you.

Another week, another few inches of progress on the quilt. And a better handle on my depression. Upped my medication as I have enough until the next refill.

Can't remember mentioning this previously, however, I was supposed to take two starting Oct. 1, and I did that through December, not that it helped all that much. Then I noticed that I didn't have enough to take two through January, and can't reorder until 1/26/2011, so had to cut back rather than run out. NOT GOOD. So I was taking one a day, but recounting, I can take one and a half and not run out.

Why, you ask, don't I just call the doctor and get more? Evidently when I visited her in the fall and she rewrote the prescriptions, she only made the Zoloft one a day. Which is fine starting in about February, but not for now. Well, I'm depressed, duh. And just couldn't make myself pick up the phone. Stupid, I know. ~~but~~

~~HOW DO YOU TURN THE STRIKETHROUGH OFF. ARRRG.~~

A few more inches completed

2011-01-14T23:24:00.000-08:00

Tonight after dinner, I got out the sewing stuff, and completed the third house for the rianbow quilt.

I also finished (except for binding off, which... but no excuses, I did finish the knitting) a pair of socks. This involved frogging each one majorly. I was almost to the top ribbing, having started at the toes, and I didn't like the way the colors played out. So frogged one to before the heel turn, and the other to above the ankle. Kept part of the yarn wound up inside sock, so as to shorten the immensely long color sweeps, and tried to match as much as possible the colors, so that more of the sock is the bright pink and less is the black, which turns out to be navy, brown, and black, rather than just black. That was interesting.

Zauberball, in case anyone is interested, is the name of the wool. I am now completely convinced that, per Judith MacKensie McCuin, you don't save any time atall by not plying your yarn. This one is a single, and I fought with it often. The single would split at the drop of a ball of yarn. It was very hard to rip out, stitches dropped. Ply already. The colors are nice though.

Depression

2011-01-12T14:14:00.000-08:00

Not a dirty word, but somehow embarrassing to admit. I need to get used to saying it. However, if I had cancer, I also wouldn't want to go around telling everybody, I have cancer. What could they do? But definitely it interferes with the progress on my quilt. I did make two little houses, for the bottom, and planned the third. Can start sewing the pieces together that I laid out before New Year's Eve.

It is now the second week of January, and I have done little. My excuse is that I have been getting ready for the MH trip. Now that we have left, perhaps I can get back to doing stuff on my projects. One good thing, I couldn't bring everything, so the number of possibilities is somewhat limited.

I have made a list of the projects in process and the yarn and fiber stash I brought on the Motorhome trip. I plan to check them off as I complete each project. And I plan to count fiber into yarn as a project of its own, as well as yarn into Finished Object.

Inches are supposed to add up, aren't they?

2011-01-07T12:18:00.000-08:00

If I just do a little bit at a time, eventually I will get through this, right!

No time today, so I just pieced one little house to the background. Actually just one side of one house, as I ran out of bobbin thread, just as I ran out of time.

I have made two houses for the "cityscape", and one is already inserted into background fabric. I think there should be three houses, and the house fabric should show up soon, I hope. I know I have more, just where is the question. The answers will have to wait until tomorrow. No time!!!

New Year Old Projects

2011-01-06T02:36:00.000-08:00

I'm still slogging along on the rainbow quilt. I got most of the "sky" portion done in Denver. After getting back from Denver, I did cut out the pieces for the bottom (city) part, sewed them together in a rather random fashion, and decided that it didn't work. I just didn't like it. So I went out and bought new fabric (fat quarters on sale at the LQS) and I'm starting over from scratch. The randomness of the first method just didn't work. I am so hesitant to cut the new fabric. It has been six weeks, now, and no progress.

Except that I do know what doesn't work, and that the city portion will have to be somewhat planned out, not random. I have a sketch, and the fabrics are pretty good. So I just have to be brave and start cutting.

Progress, finally

2010-11-15T20:15:00.000-08:00

We are on another road trip, this time from Seattle to Denver. We'll stay a week in Denver then return home. On the trip over, I knitted up a storm. I finished two bags, a pair of socks, and nearly finished a Christmas theme doll I call Elfie. All she needs is a skirt and she is also complete.

While I am here, I am working on the quilt. I just couldn't decide how to cut the rainbow pieces, and I finally decided that I couldn't tell how it would look until I did it. So, I DID IT. I cut the pieces and laid them out on a table. It is going to be okay, maybe even fine.

I realize that my goals are often much to grandiose. But sometimes, I do achieve them. My goal for this week is to get all the rainbow sewed together, then to add the "city" and sky pieces needed to complete the center of the top.

That seems pretty ambitious, but I might be able to so it.

Carry on!!!

Update Slogging on

2010-11-05T22:52:00.000-07:00

So remember my goal was to get the rainbow quilt top finished. So I have the fabric all cut even, (note to self, check to see what last blog says), and in one place. And this whole week, I have done . . . . . . NOTHING on it.

Nick mentioned that I was using the entire top of the stereo cabinet for my handspun yarn display and he didn't have any room for his "stuff". So Thursday, I got up with great intentions of working on the quilt-top, but first cleared off all the yarn from the top of the cabinet and from the back of the sofa.

I have had it in mind for several weeks, even a note on my fiber notebook, to check through the handspun to make sure it is all recorded properly, both in the fiber book and in my Ravelry stash.

Before I got started with that check though, I took some cotton yarn, and crocheted a bowl, kind of open. Remember Macrame! Not quite that, but close. I made it the size of the popcorn bowl that I usually use for storing the handspun, and even blocked it over the bowl. I washed it and soaked it in starch. I used the 50-50 formula, half starch and half water, and later realized I should have used all starch. Then I stretched it out over the bowl to dry. My plan is to make two of these bowls (same size??, graduated??) and use a fabric bowl (which I also starched) and create a hanging basket trio, one on top of the other, to hold my fiber. The basket I crocheted is very open. The sides are like a market basket, just chains attached about every four or five stitches, so the handspun will show through the holes. It is really cute. Only took three or four hours, another hour or so to muck about with the starching and the fabric bowl, and it was midafternoon. Too late for a walk and I still wanted to sort through the handspun and compare it to the Ravelry stash and the fiber notebook.

That was finished up in plenty of time to watch Jeopardy. Nick made dinner (if you can call heating up a frozen concoction "making" dinner, but it was good, and the kind I like that he is not so fond of - spinach, need I say more.)

Today, Friday, is my day to go to the kids, but since they are in school til 2:30 I don't have to leave until noon or one pm. So I cleaned up the kitchen, made Welch Cakes, cleaned up some more, unloaded clean dished from the dishwasher, put dirty ones in. I also washed my over 400 yards of three ply yarn I finished Thursday, and a medium single I really like and think I will keep as a single. I restarched the crocheted bowl to see if I could make it even stiffer. I do want it to stand up by itself, although now I am considering using a wire coat hanger to make a collar for it to hand from. I'm not sure now. By the time I got all this done, I barely had time to shower and leave for the kids. I did take the time to swing by the library on my way, but arrived at 2:15, so pretty close to time to walk over to school to get Smiley.

I describe this to show that I am doing a lot of stuff, but just not the thing I tell myself is high on the critical list. I mean, I want to keep the kitchen clean. I really wanted to finish the two yarns. Having an attractive and useful place to store the yarn is a very good thing. Keeping Ravelry stash and my fiber notebook accurate and up-to-date are critical to being organized about my fiber and stash.

Or, are these just excuses to avoid working on the rainbow, which I am desparately afraid I won't like once it is done. I wish I knew.

Traveling

2010-10-29T21:31:00.000-07:00

We are on a trip along the Oregon Coast. I have been knitting up a storm. I knit while DH drives.

Yesterday we stopped at a quilt shop in Newport OR and I was inspired. I went home (to the MH) and dug out the fabrics, planned and cut the next section of the rainbow quilt. It is awesome, that I sorted and cut, that I am continuing to work on it.

I am not sure I am going to like this when I get it done, and I won't know until I sew the thing together. Oh well. That is a worry and sometimes a stopper. But I have decided: DO IT ANYWAY. If I really don't like it, then I can decide then what to do. But try it. That is my message to myself.

I have so many ideas for quilts. The shop was really inspiring. She said they specialize in landscape fabrics. They had so many picture quilts, pieced, appliqued, and even pictures printed onto fabric, then quilted. I got the idea that I could take some of my photos, print them on fabric, paint the important parts (in case the original ink runs or fades) applique other important parts over the print fabric, and create quilt blocks as individual as my camera's eye. Mine, in every way. Can't wait to try it.

They had dozens of lighthouse patterns, material, and other landscape ideas. One was a picture of cute water animals. There are sea lions here, dozens and dozens of them, but I think the water animals weren't really sea lions. The flippers and such were sea-liony, but the heads were more like an otter or perhaps a seal, even a baby polar bear. I'm not really up on my mammals of the sea, but these weren't quite right (to my taste).

There was a quilt pattern, or rather ten to twelve patterns, of local attractions, so one could make a quilt with favorite vistas. That was really awe-inspiring, except that I keep wanting to do my own thing, such as the quilt I have planned of Maritime Canada. The idea of choosing 10-12 pictures, printing them onto 8.5 by 11 muslin, and creating a quilt that way is so exciting. I am ready to choose pictures RIGHT NOW.

I want to make a lighthouse quilt for Julie. The Newport quilt shop had lots of ideas, and I was so inspired.

Keep on keeping on.

Live, learn, love, laugh, leave a legacy.

Suzie

Keeping Going

2010-10-21T23:46:00.000-07:00

At the start of October, I had every intention of working heavily on the quilts for the grandkids. But then I took the boys camping for a weekend, and then I got sick or something, anyway didn't feel well for a few days. So much that I missed out on going to the boys last week. And I haven't been working on the quilts AT ALL. Until yesterday.

I kind of feel like I am balancing on top of a large ball, perhaps 10 feet in diameter. As long as I stay centered on the ball top, I am fine. However, once I fall off, it seems impossible to get back on. Imagine trying to climb up on a ten foot high ball. Impossible.

So yesterday, I finally got busy and got sewing again. I have gotten all the colored stripes sewed together, which was my goal for the first week. I know, this has been three weeks. However,....

Next step, pick out "sky", "ground", and "pot of gold" fabric to complete quilt top. And cut apart strips, to resew into rainbow shape. That shouldn't be so difficult. Goal timeline: Get fabrics picked out by Sunday, take with Monday, and complete cut apart-resew by the following Monday.

I can do this.

Procrastination

2010-09-30T21:15:00.000-07:00

Here's the thing. I really want to work on my quilts. I have had to make myself sew this week. I have the pattern (in my head) and the fabric all sorted out. Well, okay I sorted and sorted for several days and got the final selection by Tuesday. And I started to sew. At the machine. And it is coming out okay, not wonderful, not breathtaking, but okay.

Is that what I am afraid of, that it will be just okay? Or worse, ugly?

Or the the intended recipient won't like it. He won't, but not because it's not wonderful, but because teenage boys of his ilk wouldn't like anything made by grandma. Only if I give him green stuff, green with zeros on it (plural) is he apt to be excited about his gift. So okay he won't like it and that doesn't matter, I am making it anyway. I am not making it for him, but because I want to be the kind of grandma who has given each of the grandkids a quilt. Why, oh why, didn't I start (I did) and finish (I didn't) when they were still in cribs. Crib size quilts are smaller, quicker to make, and cute. They also don't have to be fashioned to the child's interests, because at that age, they really don't have any readily identifiable interests. So I didn't.

But I like sewing. So why all this procrastination?

I'd have written this Monday, but, you know, I didn't get around to it.

Yes I Care

2010-09-25T18:19:00.000-07:00

I think that I must care, otherwise I wouldn't be thinking and blogging about it.

So...

Last weekend, I decided to definitely finish up quilts I have started for Honey and Cutie. Here is what I accomplished this week:

Finished up a bathrobe I made for myself, except for a button.
Located the packets of fabric I have so far set aside for the two quilts.
Started and finished an apron from a kit I found in my stash (I don't wear aprons.)
Got together all the alpaca fiber I have, picked through it to remove as much vegetable matter as possible, and sent almost all of it off to be processed. Yeah!!
Started combing the remaining 12 ounces of alpaca, which was the messy parts that I just couldn't get picked apart and devegied.
Partially frogged about two inches of the socks I am working on, and restarted them.
Spent on day with the grandkids. And finally...
Dragged all four boxes of quilt fabric down to the parlor so that I can open them all, look for more fabric to complement what I have already selected.

So I was busy, and productive, and didn't get very far on the TWO MOST IMPORTANT PROJECTS. sigh.

The rest of my life, part 2

2010-09-20T14:09:00.000-07:00

Back from Canada, and still with unanswered questions. But some (one?) answer. I will finish some of the projects I have started, and get rid of the rest (either by frogging, tossing, or giving away undone).

I love doing it all. I love sewing and quilting. I love knitting and spinning. I love dying, and want to use my own dyed products in my other projects. I am not ready to give up some other ideas of what to make and create.

My uncertainty is that I will spend the next twenty or thirty years going from one thing to another, and not ever get very good at anything. And I don't know if I care.

I read somewhere (while I was in Canada) that the colonies of (bacteria, I believe) actually do better if there are some "bad" eggs in the bunch. In the struggle to overcome the bad ones, the good ones get better, stronger, healthier. Now that I don't have to work for money, will I have the will-power, attitude, stick-to-it-iveness to really accomplish something? Or will I just become another old woman with a large stash of fabric, yarn, fiber, and unfinished projects? And again, do I care?

I have to ask the question. I don't have or have to have the answer.

The rest of my life

2010-08-28T22:30:00.000-07:00

What am I going to do for the rest of my life?

Do I need a plan?

Should I keep track? Of what?

How will I know when (if) I get there?

Just thought I should ask. Off for Eastern Canada now. Haven't been there yet, so looking forward to it. Should be awesome.

How to Play Kitty Golf

2010-08-25T10:59:00.000-07:00

Kitty Golf is a game for children of all ages. It is helpful if they can walk.

Each player selects a toy cat or kitten. (Of course other toy animals can be used, but then it wouldn't be "KITTY" Golf, would it?) Proceed to your nearest disc (frisbee) golf course. Make sure no one else is playing on the course, as Kitty Golf involves a lot of running around and would interfere with other players.

Starting at the first tee, each player throws his cat as far as he can towards the "hole", basket, or goal, whatever you want to call it. The object of the game is to get your cat/kitty into the goal in the least number of throws, however, keeping score is sometimes a challenge for the youngest players. After every player has taken two or three turns, the adult can announce that the first player to get his cat/kitty into the goal is the winner of that hole. This MAY speed up the game somewhat. Or not.

Proceed around the course in this manner as for regular disc golf, for as many holes as you can handle. The winner is the player who has "won" the most holes. This game teaches throwing skills, taking turns, and patience (mostly for the adult!). If things get too slow or the adult finds he/she has had it, an ice cream break may be declared. This results in the game being called on account of ice cream.

Hints for better play: It is best if the cat/kitty is washable. The game involves a lot of running around, screaming and yelling, and some argument, but hardly any skinned knees.

I am a Native American

2009-10-06T11:32:00.000-07:00

I am a Native American.

Oh, no, my ancestors didn't live here before Columbus. As far as I can tell, most of my great-great-...-great grandparents came from farms and towns in Ireland, Scotland, Germany, the Netherlands, even Russia. But I was born here. My parents were born here.

All four of my grandparents were born in this country. My father and his parents were all born in the city of Detroit, Michigan. Dad was the fifth generation to be born and live in the Detroit area. My mother and her parents were from the Kentucky-Ohio region, living at times on one side or the other of the Ohio River. Her father, my grandfather Charlie, lived in his later years, until his death, in the house in which he had been born. That is native, meaning, of course, "born here".

I am becoming disturbed by the fact that the descendants of pre-Columbian North Americans in the United States have come to be known as Native Americans. In Canada, they are, I believe, known as "First People". This is indisputable. The "First People" immigrated here probably from Asia unknown centuries ago. The European explorers who discovered the two American continents found them populated already, although probably somewhat more sparcely than Europe was populated at that time.

My ancestors did not come over with the Spanish and Portugese who claimed vast tracks of land for their distant Kings, despite the fact that these lands already were inhabited by earlier immigrant groups. A few of my ancestors may have fought with the then-called Indians, especially as I am supposed to be related to both Samuel Houston and a relative or friend of Daniel Boone. Those ancestors are long dead, as are the victims of those wars.

We cannot take back the wars. We cannot take back the territories gained and lost. We cannot restore life to those who lost it in the fighting.

We cannot unbuild the houses, dams, roads, hospitals, and churches which have been build. Or, I suppose we could but the consequences would be unacceptable. We also cannot uninvent the electric light, automatic washing machine, or safety pin. We can choose to live without these conveniences, but few do. We can only go on from where we are now.

We know we made mistakes in the past. We can study the past and not repeat these mistakes. We know we are still making mistakes with our land, our air, our water. Scientists have been studying these issues, and the evidence is not at all clear. We have cleaned up some of our great waterways. We can do better with the land, with the air. We MUST do better, if we are to pass along a clean and safe world to our descendants.

I wasn't going here with this topic. I meant to focus on who I am as a Native American. But I cannot help admiring the aboriginal Australians, who care for their land and protect their landmarks and beg visitors to be equally respectful. I appreciate the First People in the United States who also wish to protect the land and leave a lasting legacy for their decsendents, and ours. As a Native American, I too wish to take care of the environment, preserve our freedoms and traditions, and pass along a legacy of caring to my descendants. Our land is rich with resources, recourceful people, beauty, adventure, industry. We need to start now, here, with who we are and what we have, and create a land and legacy worth inheriting.

I think I am entitled to call myself a "Native American". I am not German. I am not Irish, or Russian, or Dutch, or Scottish. I am American and

I WAS BORN HERE.

Processing fiber

2009-07-03T23:06:00.000-07:00

Romney fleece part 1

I purchased 2.73 pounds of Romney fleece at the Black Sheep Festival in Eugene Or, July 19, 2009.

Step one: Sorting

I sorted the fleece into basically three types (but I didn't see much difference between the second and third types). The locks were a muddy yellow in color with very dark tips.

First: The locks that were less than about 2.5 inches long. These I placed tip end up in two plastic oval bins that are each 9.8 inches long and 5.8 inches wide at the widest, and 2.5 inches tall. I was able to use the height of the bin to judge which locks belonged in the bins, and which were longer that that.

These locks eventually filled both pans to the point where I was firmly packing the wool sideways to allow room for the next set of locks. They were both packed fairly tightly, and I believe each one may have held about 4 ounces, although I did not weigh the wool at this point. Probably this was about one third of the entire fleece that I bought.

Second: The middle length locks, from 2.5 inches up to about 3.5 or 4 inches. These I placed in rows on a plastic bag and on a mesh bag. I ended up with several rows of these locks, which I put tip to tip across the floor of my kitchen.

Third: The longest locks. There were not very many of these. I ended up combining these with the second type. Because my book says that Romney is longer than this, and because of the small amount of fleece, I'm guessing that I received either a poor fleece or just the leftovers (perhaps legs and neck cuts?? Are there such things?) from a bigger fleece. Most of the locks were about three inches. I discarded the short bits I found, and some really dirty bits, but there wasn't much of that, perhaps two or three ounces, certainly no more than four ounces.

Step two: Washing

I started out by washing the shortest fibers. I covered the bins with tulle for one and a mesh bag for the other pulled as tightly as I could, and washed the pans in the hottest water from our tap. The bins have a solid bottom, but the sides are open so the water would circulate easily through the fiber.

I used some Dawn dish detergent. After an hour, the water was awful, and the fleece were completely white, except for the tips, which remained brown and matted together. I then washed the pans again, using more Dawn this time, and again, the water was gross, the fleece was white, except the tips, which remained brown. The I rinsed and rinsed. I left the first and maybe the second rinse water to soak, but then just rinsed over and over until the water was fairly clean.

Incidentally, once wet, the fiber condensed so that they filled only about two thirds of the pan, whereas I had had to really press them to the side to fit the final few locks in when they were dry. This did make it easier to rinse, and to check to make sure that the fibers were clean inside and not just on the edges of the fiber mass. I handled them very gently in order not to felt the fiber, but was able to separate the fibers in the middle of the pan and ascertain that these fibers were as shiny white as the edge fibers. I rinsed one of the pans in vinegar water, prior to step three.

Step three: Dying

The fiber was already wet, and I had a boatload of Koolaid at hand. So I placed the bin with the wet fiber in another container which was deeper than the bin, and dumped two packets of grape koolaid (disolved in water of course) on one end of one of the plastic bins, and two packets of yellow Koolaid in water at the other. The yellow end didn't look very yellow, so I added some yellow food coloring, which appeared red or orange from the bottle. Then I made sure that the water completely covered the fiber and microwaved it, two minutes on and two minutes rest for 12 minutes total cooking time (maybe less)(probably less). The water around the fiber was clear or slightly green (green, I didn't use green, just purple and yellow). I then let the whole thing rest and cool off slowly overnight.

Next morning, I rinsed the dyed fiber (all of the water had been absorbed and the rinse water was clear). I was amazed to find out that the dye had not penetrated to the bottom of the bin. Only the tops of the fiber had been dyed. I had been careful not to mix the dyes, so at one end the fiber was still clearly purple (on the tip ends) and the other end yellow on the tips ends. But the fiber in the bottoms of the bins did not get any dye and stayed white. Also, I was amazed to see that the purple Koolaid had evidently separated, as there were parts of the wool that were pale blue, parts green (where the blue had migrated to meet the yellow that had migrated), and some smallish parts even red. It is the most amazing stuff, as almost every fiber is multicolored. I can't wait to spin it up and find out what it will be like spun.

Step four: Drying

This is perhaps the hardest part, since it was necessary to separate the locks somewhat in order to let it dry. And it is almost impossible not to play with it at this stage. However, I tried really hard to just separate the locks, gently squeeze out as much water as possible, then towel dry the spread out locks with our super absorbent towel. The white bin of course, was drying while the other was dying, so I was able to see what awesome looking locks I had here. It seemed to dry fairly fast (one day). The dyed locks were squeezed and toweled the next morning, and also appeared dry in about one day. I have since stored them in the mesh bags (dried separately while the fiber dried on the toweling), in case they were not completely dry when I found it necessary to put them away (visiting grandchild who cannot leave the fiber alone especially when grandma is playing with fiber instead of said grandchild.)

I have started to spin with the colored parts. Stay tuned. I may even tell you about it.

Knitting and Fiber Terminology

2009-05-01T12:23:00.000-07:00

Heather Ordover on "CraftLit" was ranting - okay talking - about using expressions such as "begging the question" correctly. Well language does change, and sometimes in ways we don't always like. HOWEVER....

I really have difficulty with companies, vendors, and others in the INDUSTRY using technical terms incorrectly. I'm speaking of fiber here.

For instance, in some places, the word "wool" can be used as a synonym for "yarn" as in 'This "wool" 100% acrylic', or 'Does this "wool" contain some nylon?'. Wool is a fiber which comes from a sheep. Yarn is a product which is produced by "spinning" fiber of various sorts into long strings which can them be used for knitting/crocheting, crafts, and other things. When yarn shops and manufacturers blur this distinction, I think something is irretrivable lost.

Another example, the use of "ply" to indicate the thickness of yarn. Ten lashes with a wet two or three ply YARN for Australia and other places in the world where this is common. Ply should be IMHO reserved for the number of individually spun "singles" which are combined to form the finished product. There are other ways to indicate the thickness of a yarn, but I do not know of any other term for the number of individually spun "singles" combined to make the finished product.

Worsted as a weight of yarn also drives me crazy, especially now that I know that it is a specific fiber preparation. I was always bothered by the use of this term, and the use of DK (for doubleknit) as a yarn size.

We have "lace-weight", fingering, sport, bulky and chunky, which have specific meanings. We should exchange "sweater" or "jumper"* for worsted as a description of weight, and leave the term "worsted" to refer SOLELY to its use as a fiber preparation, not weight. DK doesn't bother me quite so much, as you most often hear the term DK, and don't think about what it means, but again, any weight, or thickness, of yarn and be used to "double-knit" so why use the term as a thickness of yarn as well as a specific type of knitting.

*I like the English/Australian/wherever term "jumper" better than "sweater", however, sweater is so common that I doubt we can really change it at this late date.

I am just getting into spinning, and I have been so confused about various fiber preparations. I'm just learning to tell the differnce between "roving" and "top", carded and combed. And my confusion was totally compounded by the incorrect use of these terms by salespeople or others who should know better. I ended up making a chart and I refer to it constantly, so when I do find it used incorrectly, I can mentally make the correction and realize what the person is talking about.

Fiber addicts: Use terms correctly, please. And maybe if we all protest and jump up and down and correct salespeople and complain and whine, we can eventually get rid of the improper use of these terms and keep their specific meanings. This will help our art/craft immensely, removing one source of confusion for newcomers and making what we are trying to do much clearer.

When is a pattern not a pattern?

2009-04-12T22:16:00.000-07:00

[Planning to knit "Malabrigo Loafers", pattern by Julie Weisenberger of Cocoknits. I got the pattern. I had some wool, although I really planned to buy Malabrigo for this project. But didn't. I got out the wool I had and the needles weren't being used for something else. So I started the project one evening about midnight when I couldn't sleep. It was quick and easy, but I just needed a bit more time. I wrote in my Ravelry account at that time:

Have wool. Have pattern. Have needles.

Please provide time.]

4/12/2009: Lots of car rides lately = time found to knit. Finished the Moccasin loafers.

When is a project not the project from the pattern but something else? I started out to knit these slippers as the pattern was written, I really did. I didn't have malabrigo, (and it was after midnight, so a trip to the LYS was out of question) so I substituted Soy Wool Stripes (Paton's) but after knitting one slipper/loafer, I decided they might felt, and I wanted to make felted clogs from the SWS anyway, and I didn't really like the slipper/loafer that much in the SWS since it was the wrong color, so I frogged that and started again with the Silky Flamme. Aaaah, better.

The Silky Flamme was the right color (gray for the sole, and green for the tops) and the right consistency (soft) and knit up beautifully. Except,....

I really did like your pattern, Julie from Cocoknits. But, I thought it would be better to start knitting from the toe, not the heel. I have a really wide foot, you see, and I wanted to add some width, and (while I was still using the SWS) I realized that if I started the sole at the toe, I would end up at the heel, thus allowing me to start with sides without breaking the yarn and starting another, which would be two less ends to weave in. When I switched to the Silky Flamme, I just kept starting at the toe anyway.

Then I couldn't get the front to look right, and I thought LOAFERS have a little ridge right around the top of the toe, so if I did a row of purls on the front half, that would look like the ridge on leather loafers. And it did.

So then I had to change the way the top of the slipper was knit. I tried four or five times and frogged and compared. I would knit one and then the other using a different method and compare and rip out the one I didn't like - usually the first way - and reknit and then do something differently, so I would have to frog the other one to make it match.

In the process of frogging and reknitting, I realized that I thought I would like to double knit just the little top of the slipper, the part that peeks out above the penny holder if this is a penny loafer which it isn't. I had to do that several times until it came out right.

I had decided way back in the SWS version, that I thought it might be cool to finish off the tops of the sides with I-cord, to simulate the part of loafers which is usually a piece of leather folded over. So when the two fronts were finally right, and matching, I finished off the back edges with I-cord, which looks really slick. And I continued the I-cord over the toe so I could sew it back down invisibly (sort of like kitchner, except the other end wasn't live stitches) and you can't easily tell where the ending is.

Finally, when I was doing the double-knit part, the flap, I realized that the soles should be thicker, and double knit might be good there too. I have enough yarn. I wonder if I can double knit garter stitch. Next time, I will try. I do still have two more balls of the Flamme. No, I cannot frog the slippers and double-knit the sole. But I might try adding a second layer of knitting to reinforce the sole. And for the next pair....

So have I created a new pattern - Non-malabrigo, non-penny loafers, or is it just Julie's pattern, with some modifications?

Maybe I should ask Julie.

Someday

2009-02-22T20:13:00.000-08:00

SOMEDAY, my coffee table will hold two or three "coffee table" books, period. It will not contain two years worth of knitting and quilting magazines, a lost library book, a world atlas, assorted women's magazines, and part of last week's laundry waiting to be folded.

SOMEDAY, my grandchildren will be grown and get money from me for Christmas, not something handknitted by me (with stripes, and a kitty, per request). They will learn to eschew the gray sweatshirt with the embroidered cat mouse and heart motif. They will distain wearing the soft blue vest with matching leggings, or the cabled sweater.

SOMEDAY, I will go to the store to buy yarn for one project which I will complete BEFORE beginning another. My yarn stash box will be empty and the scraps left over from other projects will have been knitted up into hats, scarves, and other small projects. There will be no STASH.

SOMEDAY, The kitchen table in our house will be a place to eat, not a storage location for all the mail and flyers we've gotten in the past month, the single sock that didn't have a mate from last weeks laundry (or was that three weeks ago?). The laptop computer will live elsewhere, along with assorted notes, the receipts to enter into Quicken and, oh, that's where that check got to.

SOMEDAY, We will eat all of our meals at the above mentioned table. Our meals will consist of a nutritious variety of locally grown produce, lovingly handbaked bread, whole grains and fresh meat and seafood. Our recycling bin will no longer be stuffed with frozen food boxes, pasta boxes, empty cans, and plastic bottles.

SOMEDAY, My garage will sport a workbench and tool storage unit along the north side, gardening equipment tidily placed near the third garage door, a few boxes stacked neatly on shelves between these two, and acres of empty, swept space in the center where we can, and do, park our two cars, with the third bay cleverly and conveniently left vacant in case space is needed for a visitor's car, or to complete a project.

SOMEDAY, I'll be organized.

MEANWHILE, The socks I'm knitting are a horrid color. I can't imagine why I ever chose this ugly green. The scarf is nearly finished, only a few more rows to go and the yarn will be gone. I'll have to look up the directions for the top to this hat, then it will be completed. I'm really not in the mood for lace knitting. I guess I will cast on for the sweater I want to make next. I will have to run to the store to get the rest of the yarn I need. Knitting will pass the time nicely until someday arrives.

Oh, and SOMEDAY, there WILL be peace on earth.

Oldie and goodie

2009-02-21T17:31:00.000-08:00

When I was ten years old, my parents aquired a television set. It had two knobs or dials on it. Just two. You turned the one on the left counterclockwise to turn the set on (there was a distinct click) and then to adjust the volume, just like you did for a radio. You turned the one on the right up or down to the twelve available channels, 2 through 13. Only 2, 4, and 7 were actually used, however. Each of these setting produced a grainy or snowy picture in black and white, accompanied by sound. It was sooooo coool.

Up to this time, we had watched TV by standing on the porch at the neighbors and peering in their window. The drawback to that program was that we could not hear the sound. I do not know if these neighbors objected to the presence of four or five small children peering in their front window. They could have closed the curtains, of course, but that would not have advertised so well the presence of a television set in their living room.

That was it. Just two buttons, on/off, sound up or down, channel selection - any one of three. No start and stop, no mute, no menu, you didn't even need a college degree to run the thing. I recollect we did it just fine with only a fourth or fifth grade education. Of course, the buttons never got lost either, being attached rather firmly to the TV itself.

The TV itself couldn't get lost either. It was larger than the one we have now. Not the picture part of course, that was a small screen about 10 inches across. But the box it came in was a regular piece of furniture about the size of a footstool around, and as tall as a short bookcase. It lived mainly in our basement, along with the porch furniture which was stored in the "play" side of the basement for the winter.

We rarely watched TV in the summer anyway, since it was mostly reruns. One notable exception was the summer of 1952, when we watched the Republican National Convention which nominated Dwight D. Eisenhower as the Republican candidate for president. I'm not sure how much interest I took in the proceedings, but we were allowed to WATCH the TELEVISION, so we watched. We also watched the test patterns which were run before the TV station actually started broadcasting, so this may indicate our level of interest.

My mother was preparing for our annual vacation, two weeks at a summer cottage in Northern Michigan. Her major preparation that we were aware of was an intense ironing compaign. Everything we owned was ironed, including sheets and pajamas, as well as all my dresses and my brothers' shirts and pants. In order to pack for vacation she washed everything we owned, ironed it all, and then we were allowed to pack it carefully in the suitcase for the trip. All of the ironing I remember from that summer seemed to take place in front of the television set, now residing for the duration of the Republican Convention on the back porch, as it was more comfortable for ironing than the empty basement.

I seldom iron anymore without thinking of the nomination and election of Eisenhower. Actually I seldom iron anymore.

A Rant about slanted news

2009-02-13T09:56:00.001-08:00

I was listening to the news the other night and they had a bit about construction on the I-5 freeway in Seattle. Starting now, rather than in two or three months, they are going to close some lanes at night (11 pm to 6 am or some such), creating traffic problems that this item was warning us about.

Between the lines (and hurray, on another stations newscast later that day) was information about how the city/county/state was going to be spending money set aside for this project now rather than later, creating jobs and providing business for the suppliers for the project. Also the other news cast mentioned in detail the miles of roadway that were going to be smoothed out, the pavement cracks that were going to be fixed and the other work to be done.

In other words, rather than emphasizing the traffic disruptions (and why aren't you home in bed between 11 pm and 6 am), the news could have (and one station did) emphasize the smoother better roads that were being created, the employees who would be getting a paycheck much sooner than expected, the care being taken to make the necessary disruptions as limited as possible, and the fact that the better roads would be available to drive on much sooner than originally expected.

But I expect little from our news broadcasts, unfortunately. They are constantly harping on the 6 or 7 percent of people out of work, rather than the 93 or 94 percent who are working, on the thousands or so who have lost their homes, rather than the millions who still have homes. It's doom and gloom at every turn. Which is why I frequently don't even listen to the news.

End of rant.

The blog that nobody reads: Population Crisis

2009-01-31T12:01:00.000-08:00

Since this is the blog that nobody reads, I though I would weigh in with my thoughts on overpopulation and such.

The birth of octuplets the other day has apparently spurred interest on the internet in the ethics and morality of doctors providing fertility servies to a woman who already has chidren (six to be exact). Now I suppose that it may turn out that all of these six were adopted, but I don't think so.

Fertility services should be for women who can't get pregnant, not those who have already bourne more than their fair share. Period. Do we have to pass a law, because people are so short sighted and STUPID? Fertility services should be restricted to those who have AT MOST one living child. Period. End of discussion.

We are collectively worried about climate change, about genocide, ethnic cleansing, about starvation in Africa and disease and our food supply, energy demands and growing healthy economies.

There are too many people on the earth. We can't feed ourselves, we can't provide energy and a good quality of life, we are paving over our fields and cutting down our rain forests, all to provide too little food and too little safety to the people we already have.

When I was a child, the prevailing scientific point of view, at least as it was passed on to school children, was that animals who over-procreated starved to death, thus limiting their populations to sustainable levels. It now appears that many animals limit their families in lean times, thus having only the size family that is sustainable.

Human beings also have the capability of limiting their families. While we don't know how animals do it, we humans have developed birth control and death control (well at least disease control and methods of protecting ourselves from some causes of "premature" death), to help us limit our procreation and popluation. But only China seems to have a national policy regarding population, and we don't like their methods, even if we can admire the purpose behind it.

Instead, we have religions deliberately prohibiting people from utilizing the science we have, encouraging large families regardless of whether or not the family and the world can sustain them. It seems that they believe that God would say, "Okay, I'll let other animals limit their populations, and I'll let humans discover simple safe methods of limiting their populations, but then I'll mandate that I, and only I, the one and only GOD, will decide family by family who should have children and how many." How can anyone believe in this sort of God? God, our loving, caring parent, is going to allow us to discover simple safe methods of population control, then forbid us to use them? What???? Particularly in view of that fact that having too many pregnancies is not only unhealthy for the mother, but also for the children.

Back in the seventies, when I was having my family (two children, thank you very much) there was an active group called Zero Population Growth, with the motto "Stop at Two". What happened to this group? What happened to this philosophy?

There was one compelling reason NOT to stop at two. If all intelligent, alert, caring people do in fact stop at two, leaving only the stupid and uncaring to unlimited procreation, then the population of uncaring and stupid people would increase while the population of intelligent people would stay stable, thus becoming a minority. Is that what happened? In fact, gross population studies seem to show that as people achieve the high standards of living that seem to be standard in the US and Europe, people naturally limit their families. European families have been notoriously smaller than on other continents for some time. I read somewhere that the population of Europe prior to the black plague in the 1300's (not sure of the time frame) was not reached again until World War II.

Apparently, as immigrant groups move into the United States with their large families, they adopt smaller families as standard within a generation or two. Currently, the Hispanic migration into this country is driving population growth, and Hispanics are becoming a larger and larger minority--soon to be a majority? But I read somewhere (don't remember where) that as they assimilate into the US culture, Hispanics are expected to embrace the smaller family size already common here, as other ethnic groups already have.

But they're Catholic, and the Catholic church is opposed to abortion and birth control? Yes but as my very devout Catholic friend said, she wasn't going to allow some old men who had never married or had families to dictate what was right for her family. Her two girls are about 6 years apart, and her son is about six years younger than the younger girl. She probably planned SOMETHING.

Although I didn't include this in my "If I were Queen" list, I think the time has come for the US to face upto the population crisis (we call it the energy crisis, but it is really population). Let us pass an income tax law which limits the deduction for dependents to the first two BIRTH Children ONLY. Adopted children could be exempt. {There might be a special exemption for those families who through no fault of the own have twins or triplets.) I have more problems with the following suggestion, but I think it may be part of the solution. Limit welfare payments, food stamps, and other government handouts to an amount based on two children. In others words, if you have two children or ten, you would get the same amount of welfare benefits. Let those who cannot use their heads and iimit their family size figure out how to provide for the remaining children.

If I were Queen

2009-01-27T17:04:00.000-08:00

If I were Queen of the world (because merely being president wouldn't do it, I'd want to do all this stuff by fiat, and not have to convince a couple of houses of Congress to go along), here's my list.

1. All schools would be in session 52 weeks a year, 5 days a week, except maybe for a few holidays, and (maybe)a week or two at the end of December and another week or two at the end of June for thorough cleaning. Not all of the time would be traditional class time, though. There might be 9 weeks of classes, followed by a three week intersession. The intersession would be a chance for schools to get creative and imaginative. There might be camp-like activities. There might be a "night school" session, meeting from 6 pm until midnight, with lessons on astronomy and a chance to view actual stars. There might be a foreign language immersion, live like the pioneers, or other "theme" activities. And these intersession sessions would probably be optional, or allow students to mingle in different ways for different activities. For instance, one group of students from many high schools might meet in a certain location to put on a play. Another group might meet in another location to do all week art projects, or go in depth into biology fieldwork or cooking lessons.

2. The age at which a person could drive a car would be raised to eighteen, and REQUIRE a high school diploma. (Just think what that would do to high school graduation rates. If a student didn't get a diploma, then he/she would have to wait until age 25 to get a driver's license.

3. Voting age would be raised again to 21, along with leaving the drinking age at 21. And members of the armed services could NOT be sent into combat until they were at least 21. That's only fair.

4. Every young adult would be required to put in at least a year of service in the armed forces, or volunteering at some charity, inner city program, Peace Corp, VISTA or the like. Every one. No exclusions for handicaps or anything. Maybe if you were totally dependent on caregivers to live, but being blind or deaf or in a wheel chair should NOT except you from serving your community or country.

5. A dormitory would be built near every high school. These dorms would house students who can not live at home. Following the rules would be required, and failure to do so would be a juvenile offence, landing the student in a Juvenile Correctional Facility. Noone under the age of 18 could choose to be homeless. Every person under the age of 18, not living at home (or obviously, at a boarding school or with other family members), would be required to live in one of these dorms, and follow the rules.

6. Rather than spending billions of dollars trying to convince people that trains and buses can and should take the place of automobiles, tracks would be installed along all freeways, and eventually, all major roadways. Cars would be fitted out with a "converter" to allow them to travel along the tracks. Drive up to the freeway ramp, pay the fee, and "put down your rail gear". Now a computer driven ramp monitor speeds up the car to freeway speeds, and pops the car onto the track in the next available space between other vehicles. The car is whisked along at 65 miles per hour until the desired destination is reached, at which point, the computer announces that it is returning control to the driver, the car is routed off the track and onto a siding and the driver once again controls the car as he drives off to whatever destination he desires.

Immediately, there is increased capacity (since the vehicles could and should be literallly bumper to bumper) and decreased fuel usage, since the cars will all be going at the exact same rate of speed. No accelerating to get around another car, no slowing down for traffic, just the same speed as everyone else.

I do not know whether it would be better to have the track system provide the propulsion system (which would then be very flexible and could be powered by whatever means would be more efficient given the local conditions) or whether each individual vehicle would provide it's own power. I will leave engineers to figure this point out. However, I see this alternate as being safer, more efficient and just as flexible and comfortable as our present system. (Ever been on a freeway at 4 am? Lots of cars. No buses or trains, just cars.) (Ever been 30 seconds late for a bus?)

This system would allow nurses, convenience store clerks, emergency personnel, retail store clerks, hospital staff, and a host of others with non-traditional job hours to benefit equally. Bus and train systems only benefit those who go to work and return home in the "eight to five" area, which leaves many many people out.

If you don't have a car, no problem. Small "buses" accomodating 6 to 80 or 100 people, could be available to take walk-ups (or those who choose to get to the on-ramp via bicycle, golf cart, or skateboard- it wouldn't matter.) Eventually, the system could be set up so that prior to leaving one's office at say, 10 PM, a user could log onto a web site, give the instructions "I will be at the Oak Street on-ramp, going south, at 10:10 pm" and a mini-bus could be there waiting for him/her. Try doing that with a bus system.

7. Internship/apprentice programs would be started in all sorts of areas for students in grades eleven and twelve. Traditional areas such as carpentry, auto repair, cooking, and plumbing, and non-traditional areas such as art, craft, and other areas would have programs to teach students how to do real jobs in real career fields. Included in these programs would be the necessary bookwork, including classes in such things as "how to manage a checking account and pay taxes" etc. as well as on-the-job training. The programs would be set up in such a way that a student would complete the program as well as earning a high school diploma.

We need to recognize that not all students are qualified to attend college, nor interested in attending college. We should also know by now that having a full time job and other responsibilities is not a bar to getting a college education to a motivated adult. We need to make a high school education prepare someone for meaningful work in a decent career field.

8. Communities would need to provide safe walking routes to every school within their jurisdiction. A town could either provide paved sidewalks, block off part of a street and prohibit motor vehicles, or otherwise provide safe walking paths EVERYWHERE. Having to bus kids a quarter mile because there is no way to walk to school safely makes no sense, especially in this age when lack of exercise and childhood obesity threaten to make this younger generation less healthy that the one before.

9. Schools would operate on an "eight to five" schedule, or perhaps even longer. "After school sports" could and should be moved to before lessons, to give teenagers, particularly, a chance to wake up and get going before they are required to think. All children would participate in these school sports, which could be expanded to include dancing, walking (see below) and other non-competitive physical activities. Homework clubs, and activity groups would occupy the hour or two after lessons. Students could leave early with parents permission, but would often want to stay to participate in the activities.

10. Walking would become a national sport. Everybody would get books to keep track of their mileage and participation, and awards would be given out for certain milestones.

Wow. I planned on seven, and I got ten. How's that for reaching or exceeding a goal. I just hope someone is listening. Thanks you for reading this.

More lessons from spinning

2009-01-09T12:20:00.000-08:00

I forgot to add item 4 (5):

Keep a notebook. I have spun four items so far, red wool, natural corriedale, blue colonial, and natural BFL, and already I can't remember what I did with what, exactly.

The natural corriedale was the second wool I spun, and I did it in two or three pieces, then dyed the three pieces at the same time, but not the same way. One was dyed multicolored (orange, yellow-orange, yellow, and green) and one green and gold and the last one was dyed redish and red-orange. Because I remember that I dyed it at the same time (my husband does not like the smell of vinegar, so I try to limit the dying as much as possible) and because I have pictures taken at the same time, I know the green-gold and the multi are the same Corridale.

However, you would never know looking at the wool. Somehow, between the first small batch (green-gold) and the last (multi) I evidently "got it" and began spinning much much more evenly. They even have a slightly different feel.

Wow, what I'm learning is awesome.

spinning lessons

2009-01-08T21:01:00.000-08:00

I have been spinning since mid October. My second or third attempt, (all on a spindle) was very chunky and uneven. I had dyed it green and yellow-gold, using Koolaid. This was about 13 yards of very variable yarn. I also had another skein of the same fiber, more even, also Koolaid dyed. I would like to make a hat out of these two pieces. but the chunky/skinny part wasn't very good. So I took it apart.

That's right. I unplyed it, which wasn't too difficult. Then I took each ply and respun it, twisting it backwards to get out the excess twist where that had happened. I picked apart the chunky parts, which were somewhat felted together. Then I gently redrafted the fiber into skinnier strips which twisted into a much more even yarn. It broke dozens of times, of course. Each time, I carefully separated some of the fibers, and tryed to hold enough together as I twisted to create a thin, but not threadlike, yarn. Still not completely even, but way better.

I then washed the two pieces, the former plys, in order to get out some of the kinkiness. I just soaked them in hot water, with a dash of wool wash, for about 20 minutes, and hung them to dry on a plastic hanger, weighted down with water bottles (so I could control the weight and not put too much weight on each strand). Finally, I replyed them together.

In the original yarn, the colors had been somewhat handpainted to create two rather short lengths of yellow-gold (maybe four or five yards total) and the remainder a fairly dark green, (maybe 8 or 9 yards). However, what with dramatically lengthening the fat parts of the yarn, due to redrafting them into more reasonable thickness, the colors in the two strands (plys) no longer matched up when I replyed the yarn. Also, the colors became more muted, sometimes significantly, because the redrafting and respinning exposed some of the undyed fibers at the center of the yarn. At some sections, of course it matches pretty well, since there was more of the green. However, in some sections, there is now a barberpole effect with green plyed with gold. Other sections are in between in the color process. I don't want to redye it; I think it is nice the way it is.

Here is what I found out about my spinning process:

1) The thick parts felted somewhat. I had to pick and pick at some of them to get them separated enough to redraft. This happened even though as a new spinner, I hadn't heard about whacking your yarn in the finished process, and was VERY VERY careful to handle it gently, using only medium temperature water, not agitating it at all, and patting it gently to get the water out before hanging it to dry.

2) The thin parts were often way overtwisted. Sometimes the fiber had made a little series of corkscrews that I had not been aware of when I previously worked with this yarn. I kept it under enough tension to prevent it curling back on itself, but the corkscrews were abundant, and not always in the thinnest part of the yarn.

3) Although I had thought I had used a lot of Kool-aid, it had only covered the surface of the yarn. Thus the fat places were totally white inside, and even the corkscrews were white where the original plying had covered some surface of the strand. In other words, only the outside of the plyed yarn had dyed, not the inside, or even the side where the plys laid together.

4) I have apparently learned a whole lot about spinning in the less than three months I have been at it.

This was really worth doing. I am glad I took the time to undo and redo. I really like the new skein, which is now about 19 yards, and very pretty. When I finished it, having learned much more about yarn, I washed it in hot water, rinsed in cool, toweled it as dry as I could, whacked it a couple of times (I am still not sure about this, need to take a lesson or have a demonstration), and let it dry. Then I took pictures.

See even an old dog can learn new tricks.

Remember this is all being done on a spindle. I really like the spindle for learning. There seem to be three basic steps, drafting, twisting, and winding on. On the spinning wheel, I couldn't seem to separate the steps in my mind, and felt I had no control. I didn't know what I was doing, and although I did make "yarn", it seemed like magic and not something I was doing. With the spindle, I can see each step as I do it. They are separate somewhat. When I was practicing at home, I was very diligently parking, drafting, twisting, and winding on. Repeat. Then at some point I realized that I had been forgetting to park, and just drafting as the spindle merrily spun and spun, and the yarn got twisted. On the spindle, you can examine each half yard or so before you wind it onto the spindle, and make corrections for over/underspinning, over/underdrafting, and so forth, before you wind on. This is the way I have been managing to make a somewhat consistent yarn.

Naturally as I improve, I imagine that the whole process will become more automatic and easier, and just as I found myself drafting and twisting at the same time without really realizing this happened, I think the whole process will become more automatic and simpler.

I have been watching my grandson, age four, learning to write his name and the letters of the alphabet, and just as he improves gradually as he practices, so I hope to improve my spinning until I become the boss of it, and NOT the other way around.

This year ends, along with many other things.

2008-12-31T16:30:00.000-08:00

This year ends, along with many other things.

Hunter becomes a teenager today. Nick works his last day at the hospital. I'm uncertain about many things, like how we will cope. But we will (probably). Nick doesn't do evenings, so we start tonight (since he worked day shift today).

A year ends, a new one begins.

Charity knitting

2008-12-13T22:12:00.001-08:00

I knit for myself.

I have no problem knitting acrylic sweaters, scarfs, and mittens for my grandsons, and occasionnaly my children and DIL.

But I have never given anything away to charity. What if they don't like it! I like it, and want to keep it (giving to close family is almost keeping it). I rarely give away anything I have made, for this reason. What if it isn't good enough. What if it is too good. What if it isn't like everybody's else's contribution. What if it is just like everybody else's contribution. What if I never hear back. (I probably wouldn't).

Ah, me.

So I made a fairly lightweight cap from sock yarn. It is really cute. I think I should give it away. It is so cute. I won't wear it. It has to be really cold for me to wear a cap, and then I would want something warmer. No one in the family will wear it (see reason above). Julie is the only one who would wear a hat and this one is too light. Plus I have already knitted her two caps, and a third is on the needles (almost).

So give it to a local yarn shop drive. They are collecting hats for St. Judes Children's Hospital, a great charity. Someone there might like this cap. It is warm. I would cover a bald head. It is pretty. i should give it, shouldn't I?

Stay tuned. I guess I said that before.

Social Security

2008-11-08T22:50:00.000-08:00

They tell us that social security will run out in 2020 or maybe 2030. I'm planning on needing it after that for a number of years.

Here's the thing with Social Security. It was designed as "Insurance". At the time it started, the average worker lived to be 65. This meant that only half of the original PAYERS were expected to collect. And it was meant to SUPPLEMENT other sources of income/equity that the workers managed to accumulate. Instead, many people promptly started depending on social security as their only income in retirement. Also, people started living longer, and wanting to be independent longer. From the first, many people collected more from social security (often much more) than they had contributed (including interest attributable to their contributions). This was no problem as long as more and more workers were available to contribute to the social security fund. When there are three or five or more workers for every retiree, it is not difficult to fund payments for all retirees.

The situation has and is expected to change dramatically. Baby boomers will retire in great numbers and live longer than their parents and grandparents dreamed of. This will create a situation where only one worker (or fewer) may be available to support each retiree. Yet retirees, even if they have ample other sources of income and equity, are and will be demanding that their benefits are paid as promised. Plans to base social security payments on income, or to tax the benefits, are resisted with great angst. "Don't touch our social security."

Too many payees, getting more benefits than the social security fund can provide in perpetuity, means that at some point THE MONEY WILL RUN OUT. OOPS.

You purchase fire insurance for your home, but if your house never burns down, you don't demand your money back. You get automobile insurance, but you know that if you are never in an auto accident, you will not collect. You are generally glad of this. If your automobile is wrecked, or your house burns down, you will receive in benefits far more than you have contributed, but you would still prefer that your house NOT burn down, your automobile NOT be in an accident. The benefit you might receive comes from the premium payments from those who DO NOT receive benefits. This is how insurance works, a lot of people put some money into a pot, and (unlike gambling) the loser, the one whose house burns down or whose car is wrecked, gets the money. (It is a lot like gambling.)

Remember that social security was designed to be insurance. Lots of people would put money into a pot, and the losers (those whose businesses failed, or who became too sick to work, etc.) would have a little bit to fall back on, and not end up destitute. (There are no poor houses anymore.)

But now people are demanding "MY SHARE" even if they don't need it. They expect to have income from social security to fund not just the bare necessities, but the little luxuries of life also, without having to continue to work after retirement.

Some people point out that if they had invested their social security payments in some certain stocks, they would have enough for a luxurious retirement. However, NOT every investment will return enough to live on, much less enough to live in luxury. PLUS, this is NOT the point of social security.

We MUST decide as a country whether we want a social security INSURANCE program, which will provide a fall back position for those who inadvertently end up broke or unable to work, or whether we want a social security RETIREMENT program, which will return benefits based on what we put into the system, and what choices we make in our investments, and of course, the big unknown, what the economy does in the future. If we want the latter, then we need to change dramatically how we collect and invest social security. If the former, then we need to change (probably also dramatically) how we pay out benefits.

For myself, I would MUCH MUCH rather have a ten percent (Or even, gasp, 20%) decrease in my present benefits, to assure that I will continue receiving a least something throughout my lifetime. If I don't get enough now, I can go back to work. But I don't want to come to depend on social security, only to have it go belly up just as I am getting too old to work.

And NO, I'm not giving it up right now. I worked for it, I'm entitled to it. I just want the country to decide how to manage this elephant we have created so that we can continue to pay out benefits based on rational current actuarial and statistical information, and not depend on future workers to fund this program for current retirees.

a new federal administration

2008-11-07T20:10:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'll just come right out and say it. I am so worried about this country of ours, which I love so much.

I read somewhere, some time ago, that the downfall of a democracy is when legislators (or maybe it was people) start voting themselves benefits in excess of the ability of the government to pay. This is what I see happening.

Our national debt is huge and growing. We spend billions of dollars on items such as agriculture support, social security and medicare, and then get all convoluted when we can't afford it. Support for agriculture is selective support for certain crops (I've heard that they even pay farmers to grow tobacco, how weird is that). The idea is the help family farmers and keep agriculture a thriving business. However, the vast (vast) majority of the payments go to megacorporations and wealthy citizens who happen to own "farms", although they aren't out there tilling the soil personnally, you understand.

However, these payments do not, on the whole, really contribute to making agriculture a thriving business. Just look at the USSR (have we forgotten our history already) and how well the cooperative farms and factories worked. Let agriculture thrive because farmers grow what people need and want to eat. Perhaps some insurance is needed in case there is a total disaster (the entire state of California is underwater due to an earthquake and the rest of the country still needs food)(It could happen.), but let's stop rewarding people for poor decisions and sheltering them from the consequences of their own actions.

Social security is another can of worms. But I'll have to tell you later.

Patriotism

2008-11-05T21:31:00.000-08:00

I am glad that this election is over. I am worried about this country. I would be thrilled if we could find a way to cover preventitive medical/dental care for everyone, but I have so many reservations about how to do this, and how to cover everybody, without making medical costs unreasonably expensive, and/or restricting the availability of good medical care, and the innovation and invention which depends a lot on capitalism. I would also like to make sure that medical decisions, including the abortion issue, remain entirely the province of the "patient" and the medical practicioners, and not become a subject of legislation.

I am also so entirely sick of the negative ad campaigns that I am thrilled that we can go back to regular advertising on tv.

I keep thinking

2008-10-02T09:02:00.000-07:00

But I don't always take the time to write it down. And then I don't always think I should just put it out there for anyone to read, not that anyone is.

I finished the citrus socks, a trial fingerless mitt and started the second (real) one, and am working on the challenge quilt which was not done yesterday and therefore will not be in the quilt show. I don't mind, it is turning out the way I want it too, so will have it together someday.

This Month (October 2008) is turning out to be verrrrry busy, with lots of scheduled events. Which means fun, but less time to work on projects.

My priorty for housework this week is decluttering. I have so much junk, I am to the point where it is tipping over and hitting me on the head (figuratively of course, I'm not really in danger, just overwhelmed). For instance, I brought my walking stuff (waist pack, pouch, hat, bandana, visor, etc.) home from the motor home, and haven't found a home for them, so they are cluttering up the kitchen table.

The waist pack contains my "port-a-john" (I forget what they call it and don't want to interrupt this train of thought to go check) which I intend to practice with here in the privacy of my own home, and when I tried to use it, it was a disaster. So I should take that out, put it in the bathroom, and store the rest of the stuff where it will be out of the way, but easily accessible for next Saturday. Perhaps the front closet. What a novel thought, out of the way, door closable, but easily accessible. Deep sigh.

What am I doing here?

2008-08-29T22:59:00.000-07:00

DH just home from work. I have been indoors all day. Knitting, made a quilt square, reading on-line stuff and listening to podcasts. Is that busy, or just wasteful?

PS I see that I have previously posted three times, yet I only see two items. Why is that? I know I'm techno challenged, but I can count, can't I?

PPS Okay I found out what I had done, and it wasn't what I thought I was doing. It was when I accidently started this blog. But I just deleted that post, so with this one, I'm back to three posts, showing three posts. I can count.

Accidental Blogger/knitter

technochallenged

2008-08-05T09:12:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to show DH my blog and nothing. Then I find out, I have to push this "Publish Post" button to get it to show.

Learning something every day.

School finance, parenting, american dreams, I have lots of threads I want to pursue. Can I get them all down (out of my brain and into print?)?

July

2008-07-24T21:31:00.000-07:00

So now I'm listening to podcasts and I realize, I don't have to write a book. I can just make a blog. Stay tuned.