Procrastination

Here's the thing. I really want to work on my quilts. I have had to make myself sew this week. I have the pattern (in my head) and the fabric all sorted out. Well, okay I sorted and sorted for several days and got the final selection by Tuesday. And I started to sew. At the machine. And it is coming out okay, not wonderful, not breathtaking, but okay.

Is that what I am afraid of, that it will be just okay? Or worse, ugly?

Or the the intended recipient won't like it. He won't, but not because it's not wonderful, but because teenage boys of his ilk wouldn't like anything made by grandma. Only if I give him green stuff, green with zeros on it (plural) is he apt to be excited about his gift. So okay he won't like it and that doesn't matter, I am making it anyway. I am not making it for him, but because I want to be the kind of grandma who has given each of the grandkids a quilt. Why, oh why, didn't I start (I did) and finish (I didn't) when they were still in cribs. Crib size quilts are smaller, quicker to make, and cute. They also don't have to be fashioned to the child's interests, because at that age, they really don't have any readily identifiable interests. So I didn't.

But I like sewing. So why all this procrastination?

I'd have written this Monday, but, you know, I didn't get around to it.

Yes I Care

I think that I must care, otherwise I wouldn't be thinking and blogging about it.

So...

Last weekend, I decided to definitely finish up quilts I have started for Honey and Cutie. Here is what I accomplished this week:

Finished up a bathrobe I made for myself, except for a button.
Located the packets of fabric I have so far set aside for the two quilts.
Started and finished an apron from a kit I found in my stash (I don't wear aprons.)
Got together all the alpaca fiber I have, picked through it to remove as much vegetable matter as possible, and sent almost all of it off to be processed. Yeah!!
Started combing the remaining 12 ounces of alpaca, which was the messy parts that I just couldn't get picked apart and devegied.
Partially frogged about two inches of the socks I am working on, and restarted them.
Spent on day with the grandkids. And finally...
Dragged all four boxes of quilt fabric down to the parlor so that I can open them all, look for more fabric to complement what I have already selected.

So I was busy, and productive, and didn't get very far on the TWO MOST IMPORTANT PROJECTS. sigh.

The rest of my life, part 2

Back from Canada, and still with unanswered questions. But some (one?) answer. I will finish some of the projects I have started, and get rid of the rest (either by frogging, tossing, or giving away undone).

I love doing it all. I love sewing and quilting. I love knitting and spinning. I love dying, and want to use my own dyed products in my other projects. I am not ready to give up some other ideas of what to make and create.

My uncertainty is that I will spend the next twenty or thirty years going from one thing to another, and not ever get very good at anything. And I don't know if I care.

I read somewhere (while I was in Canada) that the colonies of (bacteria, I believe) actually do better if there are some "bad" eggs in the bunch. In the struggle to overcome the bad ones, the good ones get better, stronger, healthier. Now that I don't have to work for money, will I have the will-power, attitude, stick-to-it-iveness to really accomplish something? Or will I just become another old woman with a large stash of fabric, yarn, fiber, and unfinished projects? And again, do I care?

I have to ask the question. I don't have or have to have the answer.