Or, as my kids say, Chrissolhanakwanzakahsticemas, or Christhanasolkwanzasticekahmas.
At this time of year, we need this. We need some candles to light up the darkness. And a blazing fire to provide heat. We need evergreen trees to remind us that even though all the leaves are gone and the stems appear dead, there is still life in the forests and fields. We need flying reindeer and tiny elves to bring us magic. We need friends and family to celebrate together and remind us that even though it is dark and cold outside, we still have each other to care for and love. We need good food, too much of it sometimes, to remind us that even though nothing seems to be alive outside and growing, we can have full tummies and yummy goodness in our minds and hearts. We need a tiny baby, cared for by loving parents despite the lack of modern amenities, and welcomed by angels and shepherds and wise men as a harbinger of peace and joy. Because underneath all that snow, [or despite the clouds and rain], life is beginning again, stirring and turning over and growing. Spring and sunshine and warmth will return to our world, as it has every year since the beginning of time. And we need to remember that, and celebrate. Every single year.
We need to continue to hope for and work towards peace on earth and goodwill to all humankind.
Merry Chrissolhanakwanzakahsticemas, or whatever you celebrate. Do celebrate, please!
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Parenting tips
I have wanted to write a book on parenting for a long time. Some things that seem really obvious to me, obviously aren't to others. So here goes (nothing):
My mother was very insecure in her parenting. This manifested itself by her carefully following the "rules" set out by doctors and other experts (more on doctors as experts later). By carefully following the rules, she hoped to raise healthy children, but she didn't seem to be able to rely on her own instincts at all. When my oldest brother was a toddler, my dad told me once, she locked him in his room behind a baby gate (not a closed door) and let him cry while she and Dad ate dinner. Dad told me it was often impossible to eat while Fred cried piteously, or trashed his room and got up to other "mischief" such as removing his diapers and playing with them. When I was a baby, I was told, they sometimes would sneak into my room and get me and feed me earlier than the four hours prescribed as the correct "feeding" schedule. Sigh.
Later: Many doctors claim to be experts on parenting and/or mothering, even though many of them (the male doctors in particular) have never ever been mothers. Case in point - one doctor, claiming an expertise he didn't have, said (and I quote as exactly as I remember it from forty years ago) "You never once thought of putting down your baby while you were pregnant." Until this point, I hadn't considered the gender of the author of this particular book, but reading this, I turned to the author, and sure enough MALE. Because in my pregnancy, especially the last three months, I can't remember how many times - but probably at least once a day - I said to myself, if I could only be not-pregnant for ten minutes, is that too much to ask, I will happily resume the pregnancy and continue to the end. Just ten minutes without this baby bump, please. It was not to be. And I survived the pregnancies (all of them). No, I don't have ten children, it just seems like I was pregnant for ten years.
Like my mother said, those last two weeks of your pregnancy are the longest two years of your life, and the twenty years your children spend growing up are the shortest two weeks of your life.
I read every book I could get my hands on about parenting, while I was still pregnant. Some of them were garbage. Some of them flatly contradicted each other - feed your baby when it is hungry VS feed your baby only every four hours. I read books by doctors, by mothers, by experts and by charlatans. Some of them spoke to me, and fit into my view of life, others seemed to be prissy, stagnant, or totally impractical. By the time I took my newborn son home, I was tired of reading.
When my husband was at work, I would lay the baby in the middle of the queen size bed and watch him sleep. I did craft projects while he slept. I remember making a paper mache wastebasket. I also watched soap operas for a brief period. One memorable one ended on a Friday with a real cliffhanger (would the bride allow the groom's interfering mother influence her, or not) and an announcement that this show would not be seen on Monday, but would be replaced by another type of show. My soap opera watching days ended abruptly, but not my fascination with my son's breathing and sleeping.
He spend the first weeks of his life sleeping and eating. Even bathing him was a problem, as he wanted to nurse, then return to sleep, not stay awake for bathtime. I took him outside one afternoon, in order to take pictures of the bath. He was born in New Mexico in June, so afternoons outside were warm, as in HOT. He loved his bath in the warmth, so after that, I made sure to turn the A/C off several hours before bath time. And he stayed awake better. I had learned by this time, nurse on one side, bath and clean clothes, then nurse on the other side. Then he slept.
He slept for three and a half hours at a time, right from day one. The nursing and diaper change took about a half hour. So every four hours, round the clock, I fed him.
I worried. Breastfed babies, I had learned, liked to nurse often, even every two hours. They were apt to be irregular, sleeping for ten minutes here, and four hours there. Not my child. He ate, he slept. When asleep, he could be moved from place to place without waking him. So he could be put to sleep in the living room, and moved to his bedroom later on. Or taken to the store for a quick shopping trip without interrupting his nap. Or go to sleep in our bed, or my rocking chair, and plopped in his crib when convenient. It didn't bother him.
I learned that you spend the first six weeks, especially, but the first whole year, really, getting to know your child. One of our friends at that time had firmly announced before their daughter was born, that they were not going to let any child of theirs cry itself to sleep. Oh, no, their child would be gently soothed to sleep in their loving arms or allowed to play quietly in the crib before sleep, but crying would be responded to. Sheepishly, about three months later, they admitted that their daughter seemed to go to sleep much more easily and quickly if she was allowed to cry, well, fuss, for a few minutes after being put down.
I read a very interesting book before my children were born. Interestingly, this was the one book my mother recommended, indeed she insisted I read it. It was called The Rights of Infants and it talked about ten traits that some reseachers had identified as seeming to be inborn and lifelong. These traits included liking vs. disliking new things, regularity vs. irregularity of daily schedule, level of activity and so forth. While the book presented the traits as either or, I believe that they are a continuum, with some children falling at either end, but most falling somewhere in the middle.
For instance, my son was clearly pretty regular in his eating and sleeping schedule, and that trait has seemed to follow throughout his life, making planning for his meals and naps easier than if he had been the type to eat lots and often one day and next to nothing the next, the way some kids seem to be. Also, he seem to be near the top of the activity level, and liked and was attracted to new things.
He loved his first oatmeal, his first ice cream, and his first black olive. He didn't like his first taste of tomato, but since there was a bowl of cherry tomatoes on the table, he tasted several, in case the first one was a mistake. He still doesn't like tomatoes, but likes almost all other foods. While these traits may seem like good things, you try parenting a child who is always on the go, and enjoys tasting new things, like poison ivy and the little chlorine balls that didn't get completely dissolved in the kiddie pool at the park.
The book emphasized that the inheritance of these traits was still a mystery, and a couple who both enjoyed a very regular schedule could still end up with an infant who wanted a ten minute nap one day, and a five-hour nap the next, playing havoc with their ideas of a carefully regulated life. And that it seems to be easier to enjoy a child whose traits match yours, but since it doesn't seem to be a given that your child will echo your traits, you ought to learn to parent the child you have, not try to shovel your child into a mold that doesn't fit him.
Learning to parent the child you have is the key to happy parenting. If your child enjoys his first taste of solid food, loves the first outing to the park, embraces strangers as new friends, and generally enjoys new things, you can skip the chapters on introducing your child to daycare, first days of school, adjusting to new teachers, and the like. He/she won't have these problems.
Okay, I'm tired now, so more later. :)
My mother was very insecure in her parenting. This manifested itself by her carefully following the "rules" set out by doctors and other experts (more on doctors as experts later). By carefully following the rules, she hoped to raise healthy children, but she didn't seem to be able to rely on her own instincts at all. When my oldest brother was a toddler, my dad told me once, she locked him in his room behind a baby gate (not a closed door) and let him cry while she and Dad ate dinner. Dad told me it was often impossible to eat while Fred cried piteously, or trashed his room and got up to other "mischief" such as removing his diapers and playing with them. When I was a baby, I was told, they sometimes would sneak into my room and get me and feed me earlier than the four hours prescribed as the correct "feeding" schedule. Sigh.
Later: Many doctors claim to be experts on parenting and/or mothering, even though many of them (the male doctors in particular) have never ever been mothers. Case in point - one doctor, claiming an expertise he didn't have, said (and I quote as exactly as I remember it from forty years ago) "You never once thought of putting down your baby while you were pregnant." Until this point, I hadn't considered the gender of the author of this particular book, but reading this, I turned to the author, and sure enough MALE. Because in my pregnancy, especially the last three months, I can't remember how many times - but probably at least once a day - I said to myself, if I could only be not-pregnant for ten minutes, is that too much to ask, I will happily resume the pregnancy and continue to the end. Just ten minutes without this baby bump, please. It was not to be. And I survived the pregnancies (all of them). No, I don't have ten children, it just seems like I was pregnant for ten years.
Like my mother said, those last two weeks of your pregnancy are the longest two years of your life, and the twenty years your children spend growing up are the shortest two weeks of your life.
I read every book I could get my hands on about parenting, while I was still pregnant. Some of them were garbage. Some of them flatly contradicted each other - feed your baby when it is hungry VS feed your baby only every four hours. I read books by doctors, by mothers, by experts and by charlatans. Some of them spoke to me, and fit into my view of life, others seemed to be prissy, stagnant, or totally impractical. By the time I took my newborn son home, I was tired of reading.
When my husband was at work, I would lay the baby in the middle of the queen size bed and watch him sleep. I did craft projects while he slept. I remember making a paper mache wastebasket. I also watched soap operas for a brief period. One memorable one ended on a Friday with a real cliffhanger (would the bride allow the groom's interfering mother influence her, or not) and an announcement that this show would not be seen on Monday, but would be replaced by another type of show. My soap opera watching days ended abruptly, but not my fascination with my son's breathing and sleeping.
He spend the first weeks of his life sleeping and eating. Even bathing him was a problem, as he wanted to nurse, then return to sleep, not stay awake for bathtime. I took him outside one afternoon, in order to take pictures of the bath. He was born in New Mexico in June, so afternoons outside were warm, as in HOT. He loved his bath in the warmth, so after that, I made sure to turn the A/C off several hours before bath time. And he stayed awake better. I had learned by this time, nurse on one side, bath and clean clothes, then nurse on the other side. Then he slept.
He slept for three and a half hours at a time, right from day one. The nursing and diaper change took about a half hour. So every four hours, round the clock, I fed him.
I worried. Breastfed babies, I had learned, liked to nurse often, even every two hours. They were apt to be irregular, sleeping for ten minutes here, and four hours there. Not my child. He ate, he slept. When asleep, he could be moved from place to place without waking him. So he could be put to sleep in the living room, and moved to his bedroom later on. Or taken to the store for a quick shopping trip without interrupting his nap. Or go to sleep in our bed, or my rocking chair, and plopped in his crib when convenient. It didn't bother him.
I learned that you spend the first six weeks, especially, but the first whole year, really, getting to know your child. One of our friends at that time had firmly announced before their daughter was born, that they were not going to let any child of theirs cry itself to sleep. Oh, no, their child would be gently soothed to sleep in their loving arms or allowed to play quietly in the crib before sleep, but crying would be responded to. Sheepishly, about three months later, they admitted that their daughter seemed to go to sleep much more easily and quickly if she was allowed to cry, well, fuss, for a few minutes after being put down.
I read a very interesting book before my children were born. Interestingly, this was the one book my mother recommended, indeed she insisted I read it. It was called The Rights of Infants and it talked about ten traits that some reseachers had identified as seeming to be inborn and lifelong. These traits included liking vs. disliking new things, regularity vs. irregularity of daily schedule, level of activity and so forth. While the book presented the traits as either or, I believe that they are a continuum, with some children falling at either end, but most falling somewhere in the middle.
For instance, my son was clearly pretty regular in his eating and sleeping schedule, and that trait has seemed to follow throughout his life, making planning for his meals and naps easier than if he had been the type to eat lots and often one day and next to nothing the next, the way some kids seem to be. Also, he seem to be near the top of the activity level, and liked and was attracted to new things.
He loved his first oatmeal, his first ice cream, and his first black olive. He didn't like his first taste of tomato, but since there was a bowl of cherry tomatoes on the table, he tasted several, in case the first one was a mistake. He still doesn't like tomatoes, but likes almost all other foods. While these traits may seem like good things, you try parenting a child who is always on the go, and enjoys tasting new things, like poison ivy and the little chlorine balls that didn't get completely dissolved in the kiddie pool at the park.
The book emphasized that the inheritance of these traits was still a mystery, and a couple who both enjoyed a very regular schedule could still end up with an infant who wanted a ten minute nap one day, and a five-hour nap the next, playing havoc with their ideas of a carefully regulated life. And that it seems to be easier to enjoy a child whose traits match yours, but since it doesn't seem to be a given that your child will echo your traits, you ought to learn to parent the child you have, not try to shovel your child into a mold that doesn't fit him.
Learning to parent the child you have is the key to happy parenting. If your child enjoys his first taste of solid food, loves the first outing to the park, embraces strangers as new friends, and generally enjoys new things, you can skip the chapters on introducing your child to daycare, first days of school, adjusting to new teachers, and the like. He/she won't have these problems.
Okay, I'm tired now, so more later. :)
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Nothing to rant about
The Royal Wedding went off without a hitch. I had watched "Chuck and Di" years ago, while in CA visiting my mother and brothers. My daughter has no recollection of this. Watched reruns then, as now, as two am is just not on my radar. But thanks to a very loving DH, I had a lovely tape of the whole thing (five or six hours or so) and may therefore watch it again.
I am starting a new blog "Suzie's 52", hoping to be able to complete 52 projects in 52 weeks, starting May 5, 2011, and ending May 5, 2012. Do the dates ring a bell for anyone? Yes, it is Cinco de Mayo in which the whole country of Mexico and the states of Texas, NM, AZ, and California celebrate, uh, something.
I am happy with my medications (thyroid, adderall), the amount of daylight (up today at six am, and it was light out), and my plans for the next few weeks. I still don't get enough done, but then, I always plan to do too much.
I am starting a new blog "Suzie's 52", hoping to be able to complete 52 projects in 52 weeks, starting May 5, 2011, and ending May 5, 2012. Do the dates ring a bell for anyone? Yes, it is Cinco de Mayo in which the whole country of Mexico and the states of Texas, NM, AZ, and California celebrate, uh, something.
I am happy with my medications (thyroid, adderall), the amount of daylight (up today at six am, and it was light out), and my plans for the next few weeks. I still don't get enough done, but then, I always plan to do too much.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Various Rants
I want to rant about taxes, and how the government can't do it all, and how we should quit expecting government to provide for everybody, and just do it ourselves.
I really think that this economic downturn should be an opportunity for government bodies at various levels to rethink their mission(s) and redo their budgets to fund only those things which are most important for a government to do. I cannot imagine roads being build by anyone else but larger governmental units (federal, state, and county, mainly) but art in public places, definitely a function that non-government entities should handle. Education for all children must be government funded, since private funding would lead to only the rich being able to send their kids to good schools and the poorest kids being not sent to school at all (and lets not talk about how that is the case right now, okay) but does the government need to fund medical research directly. Is that the best way to spend our tax dollars? Parks are a definite plus for communities, but could some of the costs be bourne by volunteers and/or corporate groups. Fire and police protection is a definite government function. Just remember the hooplah when some poor sucker didn't pay his fire tax (where it was voluntary) so the fire department let his house burn down. Sorry, but that sort of payment should not, cannot be, voluntary. Everybody needs fire and police protection, taxpayers must provide it.
Well, I could go one, and I will, at a later date.
Chow. (I was so surprised to find out that that is really spelled C-I-A-O, or something. No fair, English language and borrowed phrases.)
I really think that this economic downturn should be an opportunity for government bodies at various levels to rethink their mission(s) and redo their budgets to fund only those things which are most important for a government to do. I cannot imagine roads being build by anyone else but larger governmental units (federal, state, and county, mainly) but art in public places, definitely a function that non-government entities should handle. Education for all children must be government funded, since private funding would lead to only the rich being able to send their kids to good schools and the poorest kids being not sent to school at all (and lets not talk about how that is the case right now, okay) but does the government need to fund medical research directly. Is that the best way to spend our tax dollars? Parks are a definite plus for communities, but could some of the costs be bourne by volunteers and/or corporate groups. Fire and police protection is a definite government function. Just remember the hooplah when some poor sucker didn't pay his fire tax (where it was voluntary) so the fire department let his house burn down. Sorry, but that sort of payment should not, cannot be, voluntary. Everybody needs fire and police protection, taxpayers must provide it.
Well, I could go one, and I will, at a later date.
Chow. (I was so surprised to find out that that is really spelled C-I-A-O, or something. No fair, English language and borrowed phrases.)
Monday, March 28, 2011
Unemployment compensation and other backfires
Unemployment insurance is designed to help someone who has lost his/her job by providing some income to partially replace that which was lost when the job was lost. L&I insurance works on a similar principal, if one can no longer work at one's job because of a job-related injury, L&I insurance provides some income to replace the lost wages. This seems to be a no-brainer: it is good, right. We should continue to provide unemployment payments to the unemployed until the economy recovers and everybody is back to work.
ONLY, in no case will "everybody" be back to work. There are always unemployed persons. We measure a recession by the percentage of people looking for work who cannot find it RIGHT NOW, and lower numbers are better. Ten percent, bad. Five percent good. Four percent, great. But that still means out of 100 workers, four are currently unemployed. And in some L&I situations, the worker will NEVER be able to return to the job he/she held before the injury. NEVER.
Still, it seems that as soon as the unemployment payments run out, the person finds work. I know in my case, I was unemployed for about four months when my children were little. In my case, I did not have unemployment insurance, but had money enough to live on for four months before it ran out. Just as this money (from the sale of a house) ran out, I received not one, but two, job offers. I had my choice. Despite looking "full time" for four months, I received NO job offers until the funds dried up, then I received two very nice, very desirable job offers. Hmm.
I think it is like this. Losing a job is like losing your house to a fire or flood. It is like having a spouse die unexpectedly. It is like losing an arm or leg in a horrible accident. It is awful. You mourn. You try to get it back. You cry. You curse the fates. You stay in bed under the covers and read bad mysteries. You gossip with likeminded people about how unfair it all is. But finally, at some point, you should move on.
Elizabeth Kuebler-Ross (check name and reference) outlined the five steps that dying people go through, DABDA: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. But, because the people she studied were dying, she missed the last step, the one that the dead don't have to take in our world. The step of moving on. It becomes DABDAM.
Many confuse acceptance with moving on. They are two really different things. Acceptance is "I am going to die, here's what I want at my funeral, here's who should have my most valuable possessions." Acceptance is "Our new house isn't so bad really", "I'm giving away his clothes so someone else can use them", "The doctor says I can wear slacks, and no one will ever know I have a prosthesis". Acceptance is good, it is necessary, it is important.
There needs to be a further step if one is to live the full and rich life that one deserves. You must MOVE ON. Moving on is beyond acceptance. It comes (well, it came for me) when I realized that I could no longer imagine what my life would have been like if I hadn't lost (in my case) my infant son. Moving on is "I finally get to have that craft room I always wanted", "I'm going back to school to learn to be a (fill in the blank) because (fill in the blank)", "I'm helping the therapist design a prosthesis which will enable me to (fill in the blank); they don't think it has ever been done before."
Moving on is embracing the new direction your life has taken, even if it wasn't the direction you had thought you were heading prior to the incident which lead to DABDAM. It is not denial. It is not forgetting, or even forgiving (which people might be urging you to do in the case of divorce, for instance.) Acceptance is standing by waving as the train you thought you were going to take departs for the vacation you won't ever have now. Moving on is getting onto a bus to another destination entirely.
Unemployment insurance and L&I insurance basically are designed to provide an income for the DABDA part of DABDAM, and perhaps provide some bus fare for the new destination. If it lasts too long, it can feed the acceptance, and never provide a push to move on. As long as I have an income, why should I look for a job in a different field entirely, which I don't know anything about. As long as I have an income, I can just keep looking for a replacement for the old job, and not even see the opportunities out there for other endeavors that WILL NOT REPLACE the old job, but which will provide an income and a career which is also suitable to my skills and temperament.
In the "olden" days, death lead to a specific length of mourning for the survivors. Cousin meant black gloves for such and such a period of time, parent meant black garmets for such and so, and the death of a spouse was marked by black clothing and no parties for six months, followed by "half-mourning" dark purples and no dancing for an additional six months. At the end of the year, you might mark the occasion in some way-visiting the grave, purchasing a new outfit, etc. At the end of the year, you were expected to "suck it up", put off your blacks, and get on with your life.
In modern times, we have forgotten these old, basically helpful rules. We allow people to wallow in their misery. Lawyers promise to provide money to restore us to what we were before the flood/fire/coffee spill. UI and L&I provide an income so we can have a mourning period for our lost job, and perhaps lost career.
But in the end, we are adults. The unemployed need to suck it up, put off their misery, and get on with their lives. If this means working in a convenience store for minimum wage for the rest of their lives, well then they probably didn't have what it actually takes to be employed at their old jobs, and would have been fired sooner or later anyway.
I have no sympathy. I knew a guy who fell off a building in the course of his employment and ended up completely paralized except for some movement in one hand. His wife had to take care of his every physical need. He sold insurance or stocks or something over the telephone (this was before the internet), and they were making it, they were earning a living and taking care of each others needs. Another story I heard about was a navy doctor who was an intern or something, and got polio and wound up unable to sit or stand. Since he had not completed his residency, he thought about what kind of a doctor he could be when he couldn't even stand up himself unassisted. So he became a psychiatrist. Yet another man lost an arm and leg or so in a horrific automobile crash, made worse by the fact that he was very drunk at the time. He became a crusader for telling new drivers about the dangers of driving after drinking. I remember him saying, I can't imagine what my life would have been like if I still had two arms and two legs. I love my wife, my kids are fantastic, I have a job I love. Would I have gotten these great things in my life if I hadn't been in that crash? I wouldn't want it any other way.
So let's not be too quick to extend unemployment benefits, increase L&I payments, and make it "easier" for those "poor" "unfortunate" to wallow in their misery. See I just saved the government (read taxpayers) a ton of money.
Wow, that's a load off my mind and into this blog.
ONLY, in no case will "everybody" be back to work. There are always unemployed persons. We measure a recession by the percentage of people looking for work who cannot find it RIGHT NOW, and lower numbers are better. Ten percent, bad. Five percent good. Four percent, great. But that still means out of 100 workers, four are currently unemployed. And in some L&I situations, the worker will NEVER be able to return to the job he/she held before the injury. NEVER.
Still, it seems that as soon as the unemployment payments run out, the person finds work. I know in my case, I was unemployed for about four months when my children were little. In my case, I did not have unemployment insurance, but had money enough to live on for four months before it ran out. Just as this money (from the sale of a house) ran out, I received not one, but two, job offers. I had my choice. Despite looking "full time" for four months, I received NO job offers until the funds dried up, then I received two very nice, very desirable job offers. Hmm.
I think it is like this. Losing a job is like losing your house to a fire or flood. It is like having a spouse die unexpectedly. It is like losing an arm or leg in a horrible accident. It is awful. You mourn. You try to get it back. You cry. You curse the fates. You stay in bed under the covers and read bad mysteries. You gossip with likeminded people about how unfair it all is. But finally, at some point, you should move on.
Elizabeth Kuebler-Ross (check name and reference) outlined the five steps that dying people go through, DABDA: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. But, because the people she studied were dying, she missed the last step, the one that the dead don't have to take in our world. The step of moving on. It becomes DABDAM.
Many confuse acceptance with moving on. They are two really different things. Acceptance is "I am going to die, here's what I want at my funeral, here's who should have my most valuable possessions." Acceptance is "Our new house isn't so bad really", "I'm giving away his clothes so someone else can use them", "The doctor says I can wear slacks, and no one will ever know I have a prosthesis". Acceptance is good, it is necessary, it is important.
There needs to be a further step if one is to live the full and rich life that one deserves. You must MOVE ON. Moving on is beyond acceptance. It comes (well, it came for me) when I realized that I could no longer imagine what my life would have been like if I hadn't lost (in my case) my infant son. Moving on is "I finally get to have that craft room I always wanted", "I'm going back to school to learn to be a (fill in the blank) because (fill in the blank)", "I'm helping the therapist design a prosthesis which will enable me to (fill in the blank); they don't think it has ever been done before."
Moving on is embracing the new direction your life has taken, even if it wasn't the direction you had thought you were heading prior to the incident which lead to DABDAM. It is not denial. It is not forgetting, or even forgiving (which people might be urging you to do in the case of divorce, for instance.) Acceptance is standing by waving as the train you thought you were going to take departs for the vacation you won't ever have now. Moving on is getting onto a bus to another destination entirely.
Unemployment insurance and L&I insurance basically are designed to provide an income for the DABDA part of DABDAM, and perhaps provide some bus fare for the new destination. If it lasts too long, it can feed the acceptance, and never provide a push to move on. As long as I have an income, why should I look for a job in a different field entirely, which I don't know anything about. As long as I have an income, I can just keep looking for a replacement for the old job, and not even see the opportunities out there for other endeavors that WILL NOT REPLACE the old job, but which will provide an income and a career which is also suitable to my skills and temperament.
In the "olden" days, death lead to a specific length of mourning for the survivors. Cousin meant black gloves for such and such a period of time, parent meant black garmets for such and so, and the death of a spouse was marked by black clothing and no parties for six months, followed by "half-mourning" dark purples and no dancing for an additional six months. At the end of the year, you might mark the occasion in some way-visiting the grave, purchasing a new outfit, etc. At the end of the year, you were expected to "suck it up", put off your blacks, and get on with your life.
In modern times, we have forgotten these old, basically helpful rules. We allow people to wallow in their misery. Lawyers promise to provide money to restore us to what we were before the flood/fire/coffee spill. UI and L&I provide an income so we can have a mourning period for our lost job, and perhaps lost career.
But in the end, we are adults. The unemployed need to suck it up, put off their misery, and get on with their lives. If this means working in a convenience store for minimum wage for the rest of their lives, well then they probably didn't have what it actually takes to be employed at their old jobs, and would have been fired sooner or later anyway.
I have no sympathy. I knew a guy who fell off a building in the course of his employment and ended up completely paralized except for some movement in one hand. His wife had to take care of his every physical need. He sold insurance or stocks or something over the telephone (this was before the internet), and they were making it, they were earning a living and taking care of each others needs. Another story I heard about was a navy doctor who was an intern or something, and got polio and wound up unable to sit or stand. Since he had not completed his residency, he thought about what kind of a doctor he could be when he couldn't even stand up himself unassisted. So he became a psychiatrist. Yet another man lost an arm and leg or so in a horrific automobile crash, made worse by the fact that he was very drunk at the time. He became a crusader for telling new drivers about the dangers of driving after drinking. I remember him saying, I can't imagine what my life would have been like if I still had two arms and two legs. I love my wife, my kids are fantastic, I have a job I love. Would I have gotten these great things in my life if I hadn't been in that crash? I wouldn't want it any other way.
So let's not be too quick to extend unemployment benefits, increase L&I payments, and make it "easier" for those "poor" "unfortunate" to wallow in their misery. See I just saved the government (read taxpayers) a ton of money.
Wow, that's a load off my mind and into this blog.
Update on medication and other joys
The doctor prescribed a different, but similar, antidepressant. She said to wean myself off the Zoloft in (I think) six days, then start the other. So I weaned myself off, and never started the other. I have the meds, but have not taken them. Hey I'm feeling good, and antidepressants are for "not feeling so good".
She also prescribed a nasal spray, and guess what, I no longer have a slight cough and nagging headache all the time. Wow, who knew.
Followup tomorrow.
She also prescribed a nasal spray, and guess what, I no longer have a slight cough and nagging headache all the time. Wow, who knew.
Followup tomorrow.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Going to visit doctor
I hemmed and hawed about a visit to the doctor in December, then put it off too long and we were off the CA.
Promised I would make an appointment as soon as we got back. Apparently "as soon as" is defined as a week or so later. I did make the appointment. Will go tomorrow.
Will read over blog posts before that to refresh meself on the timeline.
Promised I would make an appointment as soon as we got back. Apparently "as soon as" is defined as a week or so later. I did make the appointment. Will go tomorrow.
Will read over blog posts before that to refresh meself on the timeline.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
More medication issues
I am keeping track in this blog about the medication, so I have somewhere to consult, and find out what happens when. So I thought I'd better make a note of this:
When we got home from California (Tuesday March 1, 2011) I did not take any pills for two days (Tues and Wed, or maybe Wed and Thurs, no probably Tues and Wed). Anyway, I was in such a funk from Tues until Friday. It was miserable. I was afraid to even let Nick touch me, lest I burst into tears. Poor guy, he didn't know what to do.
I wasn't going to leave the house, although I did several times, but not as much as I usually would. I just wanted to stay home, and not talk to anybody. But I was irritated that Nick went upstairs to work on the computer, and I didn't hear from him for like five or six hours. I just didn't know where to start, so I put about six or eight major jobs in a glass jar, and started drawing out things to do. The first day, I cleaned out the pantry, and got rid of some stuff and reorganized other stuff. Including going through cookbooks, and getting rid of some (Goodwill).
The next day, I drew upstairs closets, so I tore into my closet, discarded two entirely full bags of clothes, and also sorted through the kids bedroom closet, except for the pictures, which are a separate project. We probably have an entire van-load of stuff to take to Goodwill. The next day was Friday so I didn't do anything but finish up from the day before, and now that I'm feeling better, I'm feeling less like doing this stuff.
Maybe part of it is that the next thing I drew: Kitchen cabinets, aren't really much of a problem. We could probably get rid of half our pots and empty some drawers, but we still have room for stuff, so why bother. I think I'll just throw that one away, and draw another.
I just thought now, that I should add my sewing projects to the jar. And knitting. At least the ones that bug me. Then I would have the chance of spending time one day just working on projects. That's a good idea.
Another health "Update" although I haven't mentioned this before. The noise in my ears is getting louder. I hear it all the time, and it makes it hard to hear other stuff sometimes. I can hear my blood pumping through when I lay down to sleep and other times too. It is very annoying.
When we got home from California (Tuesday March 1, 2011) I did not take any pills for two days (Tues and Wed, or maybe Wed and Thurs, no probably Tues and Wed). Anyway, I was in such a funk from Tues until Friday. It was miserable. I was afraid to even let Nick touch me, lest I burst into tears. Poor guy, he didn't know what to do.
I wasn't going to leave the house, although I did several times, but not as much as I usually would. I just wanted to stay home, and not talk to anybody. But I was irritated that Nick went upstairs to work on the computer, and I didn't hear from him for like five or six hours. I just didn't know where to start, so I put about six or eight major jobs in a glass jar, and started drawing out things to do. The first day, I cleaned out the pantry, and got rid of some stuff and reorganized other stuff. Including going through cookbooks, and getting rid of some (Goodwill).
The next day, I drew upstairs closets, so I tore into my closet, discarded two entirely full bags of clothes, and also sorted through the kids bedroom closet, except for the pictures, which are a separate project. We probably have an entire van-load of stuff to take to Goodwill. The next day was Friday so I didn't do anything but finish up from the day before, and now that I'm feeling better, I'm feeling less like doing this stuff.
Maybe part of it is that the next thing I drew: Kitchen cabinets, aren't really much of a problem. We could probably get rid of half our pots and empty some drawers, but we still have room for stuff, so why bother. I think I'll just throw that one away, and draw another.
I just thought now, that I should add my sewing projects to the jar. And knitting. At least the ones that bug me. Then I would have the chance of spending time one day just working on projects. That's a good idea.
Another health "Update" although I haven't mentioned this before. The noise in my ears is getting louder. I hear it all the time, and it makes it hard to hear other stuff sometimes. I can hear my blood pumping through when I lay down to sleep and other times too. It is very annoying.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
General complaints
I don't know why, but most of the time I was in California, I only wanted to go home. Yet I was having a good time, and doing things I loved. I think it's the medication, not working quite as well as it should.
Now that we are in Oregon, I am in no hurry to get home. I wonder why we did not go to Texas (oh yes, Nick was worried about finding a place to stay in Arizona). I really want to go somewhere else. "As a rule a man's a fool...".
I have really been thinking all day that I do not want to go home. I don't like the house, I don't like the work I should be doing, I don't like living there. I don't want to go home. I am dreading it.
Yet in California, I felt much less strongly about not likeing the house, and more strongly about maybe, not haveing a definite plan, being undecided, not going to Texas, but doing what else? I felt restless. That "is that all there is to a fire?" sort of feeling.
It's driving me crazy. I just want to enjoy life. And I do, for the most part.
Update on depression: it is not so bad, unless this "want to go home, don't want to go home" is symptomatic. I had a good time today on the walk. About halfway through I was starving, so we got some girl scout cookies from in front of a store, and that took care of the problem. I find that I do not recognize hunger coming on, just when it is that I have to eat NOW feeling.
It is too quiet here, and I am out of podcasts. I really don't know how Nick doeosn't want music or somehting, but maybe he doesn't have the noise in his head like I do, and maybe also he is either reading or on the computer concentrating on that. Whereas, I am sewing or spinning or knitting, and I have lots and lots of time to think. Maybe that is the whole problem, too much time to think.
Now that we are in Oregon, I am in no hurry to get home. I wonder why we did not go to Texas (oh yes, Nick was worried about finding a place to stay in Arizona). I really want to go somewhere else. "As a rule a man's a fool...".
I have really been thinking all day that I do not want to go home. I don't like the house, I don't like the work I should be doing, I don't like living there. I don't want to go home. I am dreading it.
Yet in California, I felt much less strongly about not likeing the house, and more strongly about maybe, not haveing a definite plan, being undecided, not going to Texas, but doing what else? I felt restless. That "is that all there is to a fire?" sort of feeling.
It's driving me crazy. I just want to enjoy life. And I do, for the most part.
Update on depression: it is not so bad, unless this "want to go home, don't want to go home" is symptomatic. I had a good time today on the walk. About halfway through I was starving, so we got some girl scout cookies from in front of a store, and that took care of the problem. I find that I do not recognize hunger coming on, just when it is that I have to eat NOW feeling.
It is too quiet here, and I am out of podcasts. I really don't know how Nick doeosn't want music or somehting, but maybe he doesn't have the noise in his head like I do, and maybe also he is either reading or on the computer concentrating on that. Whereas, I am sewing or spinning or knitting, and I have lots and lots of time to think. Maybe that is the whole problem, too much time to think.
Monday, February 21, 2011
More good news
I have been taking the two pills for almost a week now, if my calculations are correct. And I haven't had a really bad day. So I think the dosage is working.
Plus, I worked on the Cat quilt today, fixed one cat's ear, and sewed the three cats together. One of them still needs a tail, and then I will be ready to start sewing on the borders. Hooray.
Meanwhile, at the laundromat, I finished up the strap on the little bag that I am knitting. Now I have to weave in ends and that is complete.
Plus I worked on another Mother Bear bear for the charity I am supporting. Must be done and posted on Ravelry by March 1, which is next Tuesday???? I need to consult a calendar. I wound the yarn and found the needles, so I am close to casting on for my next project, Ice Queen. So progress, more progress, lots of things getting accomplished.
And I keep up with the dishes nearly every day. We don't vacuum often enough, but I do wash the shower once or twice a week, and clean the toilet fairly often. So I should also give myself credit for keeping up with that sort of stuff. Oh and I took out the garbage yesterday, without even being asked, or Nick even knowing. He usually does that chore, but heck, I can do it once in a while.
So, I'm feeling good. I'm getting stuff done. And I'm enjoying myself. Everything is working fine right now.
Check!
Plus, I worked on the Cat quilt today, fixed one cat's ear, and sewed the three cats together. One of them still needs a tail, and then I will be ready to start sewing on the borders. Hooray.
Meanwhile, at the laundromat, I finished up the strap on the little bag that I am knitting. Now I have to weave in ends and that is complete.
Plus I worked on another Mother Bear bear for the charity I am supporting. Must be done and posted on Ravelry by March 1, which is next Tuesday???? I need to consult a calendar. I wound the yarn and found the needles, so I am close to casting on for my next project, Ice Queen. So progress, more progress, lots of things getting accomplished.
And I keep up with the dishes nearly every day. We don't vacuum often enough, but I do wash the shower once or twice a week, and clean the toilet fairly often. So I should also give myself credit for keeping up with that sort of stuff. Oh and I took out the garbage yesterday, without even being asked, or Nick even knowing. He usually does that chore, but heck, I can do it once in a while.
So, I'm feeling good. I'm getting stuff done. And I'm enjoying myself. Everything is working fine right now.
Check!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
More update on medication
One of the purposes of my writing this blog is so that I don't forget what is going on. For instance, I can record progress or lack of it on my quilts, and remember from one month to the next what I'm doing.
Since I have gotten talking about depression, I think I can also do that for the medication. So I was feeling pretty good, and I was taking two pills a day. However, since the current prescription is for only one pill per day, I will run out in 45 days not 90 if I keep taking two.
I therefore decided to only take one and a half pills per day. Yesterday, after about a week of one and a half pills per day, I was feeling pretty lousy. We really did have a good day. Except that I didn't tell Nick that I wanted to visit some yarn shops, and I didn't tell him that it wasn't worth sitting around for two hours doing nothing while a podcast loaded. And he didn't tell me that the lights in the library were giving him a headache. So we were both unhappy, and I was ready to cry when we left the library.
Then he wanted to go to a stupid Dollar Store that the GPS said was there and wasn't, because he wanted to buy popcorn. Well, driving all over Santa Barbara to save a dollar or two on popcorn, when we already have popcorn in the motorhome is just dumb. Only I never said that to him.
I just wanted to go home, and cry. It started feeling like I could NEVER do what I want and NEVER go anywhere without Nick and that he didn't want to do ANYTHING I wanted to do, because he won't ride bikes or fix stuff.
Well, Susan. You are going to call the doctor and get an appointment for when you get home. You can even make the appointment from here, as soon as you know for sure when you will get home. So take the medication you need, and feel better.
Yes, Mother. I am a good person, I take care of myself.
So there. (Started back on two pills per day today!)
Since I have gotten talking about depression, I think I can also do that for the medication. So I was feeling pretty good, and I was taking two pills a day. However, since the current prescription is for only one pill per day, I will run out in 45 days not 90 if I keep taking two.
I therefore decided to only take one and a half pills per day. Yesterday, after about a week of one and a half pills per day, I was feeling pretty lousy. We really did have a good day. Except that I didn't tell Nick that I wanted to visit some yarn shops, and I didn't tell him that it wasn't worth sitting around for two hours doing nothing while a podcast loaded. And he didn't tell me that the lights in the library were giving him a headache. So we were both unhappy, and I was ready to cry when we left the library.
Then he wanted to go to a stupid Dollar Store that the GPS said was there and wasn't, because he wanted to buy popcorn. Well, driving all over Santa Barbara to save a dollar or two on popcorn, when we already have popcorn in the motorhome is just dumb. Only I never said that to him.
I just wanted to go home, and cry. It started feeling like I could NEVER do what I want and NEVER go anywhere without Nick and that he didn't want to do ANYTHING I wanted to do, because he won't ride bikes or fix stuff.
Well, Susan. You are going to call the doctor and get an appointment for when you get home. You can even make the appointment from here, as soon as you know for sure when you will get home. So take the medication you need, and feel better.
Yes, Mother. I am a good person, I take care of myself.
So there. (Started back on two pills per day today!)
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Update on medication
I thought I needed to update this blog to mention that Tuesday, when I had a really good day, and I wrote about how I should just take the stupid pills if they help me feel okay, well that Tuesday, I found out on Wednesday, I had forgotten to take the "stupid" pills. And I had a good day anyway. Go figure.
No, actually, I know what it is. These pills are cummulative. Seldom will one day of not taking them cause a bad day. It's after two weeks or so that things get bad. Which makes it harder to figure out whether or not, and how much, the pills are helping. The law of averages, or human nature, or something, dictate that in any given two week period, there are bound to be some days which are not as good as other days. And while it is nice to blame the differences of the weather, or the human condition, or the boss, or your spouse or kids. it is very nearly impossible to determine exactly why one day is better and one day is worse. You really have to go by averages in this type of situation.
In other words, to see if the pills work, you have to judge how the average of every day for two weeks is ON the pills, and OFF the pills. And unfortunately, it is impossible to redo the previous two weeks with then without pills, in order to see whick is better.
There are some studies which show that taking a placebo is just as effective as taking an antidepressant. My worry about these studies is that perhaps only x number of people are helped by an antidepressant. And perhaps x number of people are helped by a placebo. Who knows if it is the SAME people. x might be 20% or 80% or whatever. Here an example. Say we want to improve people's view of a sporting event which is very crowded. We select 200 people at random, and give half of the a step stool so that they can stand a foot taller to see. The other half get binoculars. Now if these people are truly random, there will be some short people in each group and some tall people. The binoculars will help the tall people see the sporting event better, but will not help the short people, because they will not be able to see over the crowds.
The step stools will help some of the shorter people see better, but will not help the tallerst people, because they can already see above others heads. And of course, the really short folks will not be helped by either accessory. But in each case, perhaps 25% of the participants will report that the item they got helped them to see the event better.
However, we should not conclude that stepstools are just as effective as binoculars, and encourage people to purchase inexpensive step stools in lieu of the more expensive binoculars. That would be foolish.
Each item solves a different problem, even though it was expressed as "I can't see the game very well because of the crowds."
I think depression is really a very complex or perhaps several problems, and that no one solution will work in every case. AND, I worry that people will take pills because they are sad. "My dog died, I lost my job, my rent is due and I don't have the money, and my doctor just diagnosed me with mono, wow, am I depressed" is entirely different from "I have a job I love, I am married to my best friend, I am going to spend the weekend emersed in a craft I love, and I can hardly get out of bed, wow, I am depressed."
Enough for now.
PS Have you ever typed on the wrong keys, so that "enough for now" comes out "rmpihj gpt mpe". I just thought it looked funny.
No, actually, I know what it is. These pills are cummulative. Seldom will one day of not taking them cause a bad day. It's after two weeks or so that things get bad. Which makes it harder to figure out whether or not, and how much, the pills are helping. The law of averages, or human nature, or something, dictate that in any given two week period, there are bound to be some days which are not as good as other days. And while it is nice to blame the differences of the weather, or the human condition, or the boss, or your spouse or kids. it is very nearly impossible to determine exactly why one day is better and one day is worse. You really have to go by averages in this type of situation.
In other words, to see if the pills work, you have to judge how the average of every day for two weeks is ON the pills, and OFF the pills. And unfortunately, it is impossible to redo the previous two weeks with then without pills, in order to see whick is better.
There are some studies which show that taking a placebo is just as effective as taking an antidepressant. My worry about these studies is that perhaps only x number of people are helped by an antidepressant. And perhaps x number of people are helped by a placebo. Who knows if it is the SAME people. x might be 20% or 80% or whatever. Here an example. Say we want to improve people's view of a sporting event which is very crowded. We select 200 people at random, and give half of the a step stool so that they can stand a foot taller to see. The other half get binoculars. Now if these people are truly random, there will be some short people in each group and some tall people. The binoculars will help the tall people see the sporting event better, but will not help the short people, because they will not be able to see over the crowds.
The step stools will help some of the shorter people see better, but will not help the tallerst people, because they can already see above others heads. And of course, the really short folks will not be helped by either accessory. But in each case, perhaps 25% of the participants will report that the item they got helped them to see the event better.
However, we should not conclude that stepstools are just as effective as binoculars, and encourage people to purchase inexpensive step stools in lieu of the more expensive binoculars. That would be foolish.
Each item solves a different problem, even though it was expressed as "I can't see the game very well because of the crowds."
I think depression is really a very complex or perhaps several problems, and that no one solution will work in every case. AND, I worry that people will take pills because they are sad. "My dog died, I lost my job, my rent is due and I don't have the money, and my doctor just diagnosed me with mono, wow, am I depressed" is entirely different from "I have a job I love, I am married to my best friend, I am going to spend the weekend emersed in a craft I love, and I can hardly get out of bed, wow, I am depressed."
Enough for now.
PS Have you ever typed on the wrong keys, so that "enough for now" comes out "rmpihj gpt mpe". I just thought it looked funny.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
The Problem with Depression
Okay, so now I received my medication and I'm back on two pills a day. And why didn't I just call the doctor, make an appointment, and get enough pills. Why? Why???
I feel fine now. I think, well, I don't really have to take this medication. The weather is warm (except today when it was cooler but I actually liked that and it isn't like it is cold or anything, 60 rather than 75 or 80F), and I am getting stuff done, and Nick is taking me to quilt shops and things are just fine.
But wait, stop. I am taking the medication. I do feel fine. However, last month, when I was running out and taking only one pill a day, I felt like crap. And didn't have the "gumption" or whatever I lack when depressed to call the doctor and say "oh, one pill isn't working and we agreed on two starting on Oct 1 which I did, only now I am running out." No I just try to tough through it and pretend everything is fine.
Okay, I don't like being on the medication. I wouldn't like having a wooden leg either, but if my real leg was missing, I would probably embrace a prosthetic. I don't like wearing glasses, but I insert my contacts daily. So why is this medication so different. I need it. I feel better when I have it. I don't seem to need more and more, just the two pills a day in winter.
So get with the program, Suzie. Get the medication, suck it up and take it, make a doctor appointment to get more as soon as you get home. It's okay, really. Really.
I feel fine now. I think, well, I don't really have to take this medication. The weather is warm (except today when it was cooler but I actually liked that and it isn't like it is cold or anything, 60 rather than 75 or 80F), and I am getting stuff done, and Nick is taking me to quilt shops and things are just fine.
But wait, stop. I am taking the medication. I do feel fine. However, last month, when I was running out and taking only one pill a day, I felt like crap. And didn't have the "gumption" or whatever I lack when depressed to call the doctor and say "oh, one pill isn't working and we agreed on two starting on Oct 1 which I did, only now I am running out." No I just try to tough through it and pretend everything is fine.
Okay, I don't like being on the medication. I wouldn't like having a wooden leg either, but if my real leg was missing, I would probably embrace a prosthetic. I don't like wearing glasses, but I insert my contacts daily. So why is this medication so different. I need it. I feel better when I have it. I don't seem to need more and more, just the two pills a day in winter.
So get with the program, Suzie. Get the medication, suck it up and take it, make a doctor appointment to get more as soon as you get home. It's okay, really. Really.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Other news
Now that I like the quilt again, I am plugging along at it. Nearly ready to sew the two parts together. Today, I worked on some embellishments for the bottom portion. It is coming along nicely.
I received more medicine today. I was afraid that I was going to run out. I was thinking that I would just stop taking it altogether. HOWEVER, I realized that if it helps, and it seems to, stopping taking it would be just foolish. So I'm glad it came.
I received more medicine today. I was afraid that I was going to run out. I was thinking that I would just stop taking it altogether. HOWEVER, I realized that if it helps, and it seems to, stopping taking it would be just foolish. So I'm glad it came.
Fibery update
Uh, Shiny. (I don't know how to spell "ough", "ow", the vowel sound in threw or knew. I want to say "knew-kn", shiny or "threw-thr", shiny. The "uh" will have to do for now. Actually, "ew" looks kind of right.)
Just an update on the fiber I have been turning into yarn. I can spin faster than I can knit, at this rate, expecially when we stay in one location and don't move for two weeks.
First, I spun up the awesome batt that I received from my wonderful friends for my birthday. I think the color was Before Sunset, from Crown Mountain Farms. The batt turned into a lushious pinky, purple three ply, about 372 yards. I am so in love with this yarn. I think I am going to make a Traveling Woman shawl.
Then I spun up a couple of minibatts, about one ounce, that I won from SpinControl Podcast. The batts are alpaca, Falkland wool, and seacell. Proportions weren't given. I got 173 yards of two ply, just what I wanted. It is maybe a heavy laceweight, about 17-18 wpi. I'm going to make a lace cowl.
Then I spun up a sample of corriedale in a natural brown and gray that I purchased at Snohomish. It is also two ply and I only have 23 yards, as I only did a bit to try it out. I'm going to make something small, to test out the yarn. I usually prefer three ply, but this is nice and softer than I though it would be from the fiber.
I finished a pair of felted slippers, which fit Nick and not the intended recipient. I made a cotton shopping bag, since we really have way to many plastic bags now. I am working on a "waves" or "seafoam" scarf, the one where you wrap the yarn around the needle one, two, three, two, one times, then drop it on the next row. I'm using the gradient yarn I spun up from some similar roving that was distinct colors. I wanted to see how the color blended. I also was trying for, and got, a worsted weight yarn.
Next I plan to finish a purple cardigan I started last year from my handspun, and finish a little scottie terrier from an Alan Dart pattern, much modified as I don't see any reason to knit fourteen pieces and then sew them together for a toy.
So net to stash: added 568 yards, knit up Maybe?? 300-400 yards. It's still gaining on me. However, the scottie and the purple cardigan will tip the balance the opposite way, specially since I am using two strands of yarn for the dog. And Stitches West is coming up, so I may knit some bears for the Mother Bear project. Do I have any acrylic in my stash?? I didn't think so. Well, a trip to the yarn shop is not so bad, really.
Just an update on the fiber I have been turning into yarn. I can spin faster than I can knit, at this rate, expecially when we stay in one location and don't move for two weeks.
First, I spun up the awesome batt that I received from my wonderful friends for my birthday. I think the color was Before Sunset, from Crown Mountain Farms. The batt turned into a lushious pinky, purple three ply, about 372 yards. I am so in love with this yarn. I think I am going to make a Traveling Woman shawl.
Then I spun up a couple of minibatts, about one ounce, that I won from SpinControl Podcast. The batts are alpaca, Falkland wool, and seacell. Proportions weren't given. I got 173 yards of two ply, just what I wanted. It is maybe a heavy laceweight, about 17-18 wpi. I'm going to make a lace cowl.
Then I spun up a sample of corriedale in a natural brown and gray that I purchased at Snohomish. It is also two ply and I only have 23 yards, as I only did a bit to try it out. I'm going to make something small, to test out the yarn. I usually prefer three ply, but this is nice and softer than I though it would be from the fiber.
I finished a pair of felted slippers, which fit Nick and not the intended recipient. I made a cotton shopping bag, since we really have way to many plastic bags now. I am working on a "waves" or "seafoam" scarf, the one where you wrap the yarn around the needle one, two, three, two, one times, then drop it on the next row. I'm using the gradient yarn I spun up from some similar roving that was distinct colors. I wanted to see how the color blended. I also was trying for, and got, a worsted weight yarn.
Next I plan to finish a purple cardigan I started last year from my handspun, and finish a little scottie terrier from an Alan Dart pattern, much modified as I don't see any reason to knit fourteen pieces and then sew them together for a toy.
So net to stash: added 568 yards, knit up Maybe?? 300-400 yards. It's still gaining on me. However, the scottie and the purple cardigan will tip the balance the opposite way, specially since I am using two strands of yarn for the dog. And Stitches West is coming up, so I may knit some bears for the Mother Bear project. Do I have any acrylic in my stash?? I didn't think so. Well, a trip to the yarn shop is not so bad, really.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
In love Again
I am in love with the quilt again. I really do like it. I still worry that others won't but that okay now, as I think it is fine. I have the two major pieces nearly complete, with just a few finishing touches to the piecing, and I can't wait to get them together and see how it all looks. Don't know if it is really big enough, but that is what borders are for, right?
Things are better today. Nick got about 12 hours of sleep, and I got two. So maybe I am getting too much sleep, which I sort of suspect. I went for a long walk (3 miles).
I finished up the scarf/(what's that other thing called) as far as i could. I ran out of yarn with about four rows to go. I may block it anyway. I have more fiber at home, quite a bit spun up into singles, just needing plying, so I am not going to finish it now. It will keep.
I also made a washcloth, as I didn't have anything else I could just grab and go with.
So, one more good day to add to the stack.
Things are better today. Nick got about 12 hours of sleep, and I got two. So maybe I am getting too much sleep, which I sort of suspect. I went for a long walk (3 miles).
I finished up the scarf/(what's that other thing called) as far as i could. I ran out of yarn with about four rows to go. I may block it anyway. I have more fiber at home, quite a bit spun up into singles, just needing plying, so I am not going to finish it now. It will keep.
I also made a washcloth, as I didn't have anything else I could just grab and go with.
So, one more good day to add to the stack.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Update on projects, depression
I am feeling better, I think. We have done two volkswalks, Thursday and today. Today was up a very gradual hill. And I was really winded going up the hill. I dislike the feeling of not being able to walk as easily as I used to. I hope I can get my mojo and fitness level back. I will have to work at it, I know.
I have been working diligently, pretty much, on the rainbow. I have also been knitting in the car, spinning at home, and getting things done. I cleaned the MH the other day, vacuuming and cleaning the toilet, two of my least favorite chores. I have been pretty good about keeping the dishes done. So all in all, pretty good all around.
I have been working diligently, pretty much, on the rainbow. I have also been knitting in the car, spinning at home, and getting things done. I cleaned the MH the other day, vacuuming and cleaning the toilet, two of my least favorite chores. I have been pretty good about keeping the dishes done. So all in all, pretty good all around.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
PLEASE commenet
Although this is the blog that nobody reads, it does show a download or two. If you are out there, please comment. I would so like to hear from you.
Another week, another few inches of progress on the quilt. And a better handle on my depression. Upped my medication as I have enough until the next refill.
Can't remember mentioning this previously, however, I was supposed to take two starting Oct. 1, and I did that through December, not that it helped all that much. Then I noticed that I didn't have enough to take two through January, and can't reorder until 1/26/2011, so had to cut back rather than run out. NOT GOOD. So I was taking one a day, but recounting, I can take one and a half and not run out.
Why, you ask, don't I just call the doctor and get more? Evidently when I visited her in the fall and she rewrote the prescriptions, she only made the Zoloft one a day. Which is fine starting in about February, but not for now. Well, I'm depressed, duh. And just couldn't make myself pick up the phone. Stupid, I know.but
HOW DO YOU TURN THE STRIKETHROUGH OFF. ARRRG.
Another week, another few inches of progress on the quilt. And a better handle on my depression. Upped my medication as I have enough until the next refill.
Can't remember mentioning this previously, however, I was supposed to take two starting Oct. 1, and I did that through December, not that it helped all that much. Then I noticed that I didn't have enough to take two through January, and can't reorder until 1/26/2011, so had to cut back rather than run out. NOT GOOD. So I was taking one a day, but recounting, I can take one and a half and not run out.
Why, you ask, don't I just call the doctor and get more? Evidently when I visited her in the fall and she rewrote the prescriptions, she only made the Zoloft one a day. Which is fine starting in about February, but not for now. Well, I'm depressed, duh. And just couldn't make myself pick up the phone. Stupid, I know.
Friday, January 14, 2011
A few more inches completed
Tonight after dinner, I got out the sewing stuff, and completed the third house for the rianbow quilt.
I also finished (except for binding off, which... but no excuses, I did finish the knitting) a pair of socks. This involved frogging each one majorly. I was almost to the top ribbing, having started at the toes, and I didn't like the way the colors played out. So frogged one to before the heel turn, and the other to above the ankle. Kept part of the yarn wound up inside sock, so as to shorten the immensely long color sweeps, and tried to match as much as possible the colors, so that more of the sock is the bright pink and less is the black, which turns out to be navy, brown, and black, rather than just black. That was interesting.
Zauberball, in case anyone is interested, is the name of the wool. I am now completely convinced that, per Judith MacKensie McCuin, you don't save any time atall by not plying your yarn. This one is a single, and I fought with it often. The single would split at the drop of a ball of yarn. It was very hard to rip out, stitches dropped. Ply already. The colors are nice though.
I also finished (except for binding off, which... but no excuses, I did finish the knitting) a pair of socks. This involved frogging each one majorly. I was almost to the top ribbing, having started at the toes, and I didn't like the way the colors played out. So frogged one to before the heel turn, and the other to above the ankle. Kept part of the yarn wound up inside sock, so as to shorten the immensely long color sweeps, and tried to match as much as possible the colors, so that more of the sock is the bright pink and less is the black, which turns out to be navy, brown, and black, rather than just black. That was interesting.
Zauberball, in case anyone is interested, is the name of the wool. I am now completely convinced that, per Judith MacKensie McCuin, you don't save any time atall by not plying your yarn. This one is a single, and I fought with it often. The single would split at the drop of a ball of yarn. It was very hard to rip out, stitches dropped. Ply already. The colors are nice though.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Depression
Not a dirty word, but somehow embarrassing to admit. I need to get used to saying it. However, if I had cancer, I also wouldn't want to go around telling everybody, I have cancer. What could they do? But definitely it interferes with the progress on my quilt. I did make two little houses, for the bottom, and planned the third. Can start sewing the pieces together that I laid out before New Year's Eve.
It is now the second week of January, and I have done little. My excuse is that I have been getting ready for the MH trip. Now that we have left, perhaps I can get back to doing stuff on my projects. One good thing, I couldn't bring everything, so the number of possibilities is somewhat limited.
I have made a list of the projects in process and the yarn and fiber stash I brought on the Motorhome trip. I plan to check them off as I complete each project. And I plan to count fiber into yarn as a project of its own, as well as yarn into Finished Object.
It is now the second week of January, and I have done little. My excuse is that I have been getting ready for the MH trip. Now that we have left, perhaps I can get back to doing stuff on my projects. One good thing, I couldn't bring everything, so the number of possibilities is somewhat limited.
I have made a list of the projects in process and the yarn and fiber stash I brought on the Motorhome trip. I plan to check them off as I complete each project. And I plan to count fiber into yarn as a project of its own, as well as yarn into Finished Object.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Inches are supposed to add up, aren't they?
If I just do a little bit at a time, eventually I will get through this, right!
No time today, so I just pieced one little house to the background. Actually just one side of one house, as I ran out of bobbin thread, just as I ran out of time.
I have made two houses for the "cityscape", and one is already inserted into background fabric. I think there should be three houses, and the house fabric should show up soon, I hope. I know I have more, just where is the question. The answers will have to wait until tomorrow. No time!!!
No time today, so I just pieced one little house to the background. Actually just one side of one house, as I ran out of bobbin thread, just as I ran out of time.
I have made two houses for the "cityscape", and one is already inserted into background fabric. I think there should be three houses, and the house fabric should show up soon, I hope. I know I have more, just where is the question. The answers will have to wait until tomorrow. No time!!!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
New Year Old Projects
I'm still slogging along on the rainbow quilt. I got most of the "sky" portion done in Denver. After getting back from Denver, I did cut out the pieces for the bottom (city) part, sewed them together in a rather random fashion, and decided that it didn't work. I just didn't like it. So I went out and bought new fabric (fat quarters on sale at the LQS) and I'm starting over from scratch. The randomness of the first method just didn't work. I am so hesitant to cut the new fabric. It has been six weeks, now, and no progress.
Except that I do know what doesn't work, and that the city portion will have to be somewhat planned out, not random. I have a sketch, and the fabrics are pretty good. So I just have to be brave and start cutting.
Except that I do know what doesn't work, and that the city portion will have to be somewhat planned out, not random. I have a sketch, and the fabrics are pretty good. So I just have to be brave and start cutting.
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