Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Problem with Depression

Okay, so now I received my medication and I'm back on two pills a day.  And why didn't I just call the doctor, make an appointment, and get enough pills.  Why?  Why???

I feel fine now.  I think, well, I don't really have to take this medication.  The weather is warm (except today when it was cooler but I actually liked that and it isn't like it is cold or anything, 60 rather than 75 or 80F), and I am getting stuff done, and Nick is taking me to quilt shops and things are just fine.

But wait, stop.  I am taking the medication.  I do feel fine.  However, last month, when I was running out and taking only one pill a day, I felt like crap.  And didn't have the "gumption" or whatever I lack when depressed to call the doctor and say "oh, one pill isn't working and we agreed on two starting on Oct 1 which I did, only now I am running out."  No I just try to tough through it and pretend everything is fine.

Okay, I don't like being on the medication.  I wouldn't like having a wooden leg either, but if my real leg was missing, I would probably embrace a prosthetic.  I don't like wearing glasses, but I insert my contacts daily.   So why is this medication so different.  I need it.  I feel better when I have it.  I don't seem to need more and more, just the two pills a day in winter. 

So get with the program, Suzie.  Get the medication, suck it up and take it, make a doctor appointment to get more as soon as you get home.  It's okay, really.  Really.

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